Having a bad day

Thanks Becci and Bobles. 

Have had a lovely afternoon. Hoping I'll actually get some sleep tonight.

Hope everyone is ok ish and you all get some sleep too.

Hugs to all.

X

Sorry to jump in on this but just wanted to send thoughts and hugs to all. This road we are on is a difficult one, at whatever junction of it we are each at. It amazes me daily how you all do it.

Hope for sleep for one and all

N

Xxx

Hi Nicole jump on any time. 

We've tried going to bed early. We've done no sleep at all. Tonight we're trying going to bed late.

Discussed funeral with the celebrant today she's so helpful and had lovely non denominational prayers.

Tomorrow we go to the florists.  Yet to choose a photo for the funeral.  We initially didn't want one and know Mum would be fussy.  Her friends couldn't visit her near the end though as she was having traumatic times...maybe they need her face to say goodbye to. Lots of lovely photos. Mum's smile very apparent in them and had been a rarity recently. 

Rather a draining experience sorting it all out.

Night night all.....maybe....?

Jx

I have managed some sleep but have woken up every hour from 2am.  Given up now. 

We're seeing the minister on Monday, even my brothers are coming!  Wonders will never cease!  My sister and I were talking about it all last night and we've both managed to move past our issues with our brothers and sister (and pain in the arse brother in law) and have forgiven them.  Although I think that they are actually completely oblivious to the fact that they managed to upset us so much. It's gone and in the past now and if mum had known I think that she would now be pleased that we've forgiven them. I can't imagine that I will see my brothers much now anyway.

We've chosen our photos for the order of service.  My niece got married in July and mum was so determined to be there and she was.  I took a lovely selfie with her and we've decided to use that one for the front (with me cut out obviously) and my nephew took an informal one of the five of us with mum in the evening so we're putting that one on the back.  She was so happy on that day and it shows in her beautiful smile.  It was her first grandchild to get married and she was the guest of honour.  They made such a fuss of her, it was lovely. 

My sister and I have decided that we both want to speak at the funeral but aren't sure we'll be able to manage it.  So we're going to do it together and support each other.  I have written something and when I told her it's very similar to what she wanted to say so she's going to add to it.  Her husband has said that if we can't manage it he will get up and read it for us.

I hope that everyone managered to get some sleep.

Love to all.

X

Morning Elenium,

You have so much going on in your head that you can't switch off I'm sure.

 Glad to hear your brothers and other sister are supportive of you at last.

Lovely brother  in law too.

Happy memories and photos are so vital and it's great to look back and see your mum so happy and enjoying herself with all her family knowing how loved she was.

Have a better day today everyone, be kind to yourselves.

Love to all

Xxxx

Elenium that all sounds so beautiful. 

Jxxx

Bit worried on the day I'm going to say..

"Mum - hbbubbububbbububb. ..wail"

Celebrant will step in...not immediately but if we don't recover....

Jx

It's still not real for me. I wonder if it ever will be. I saw Mum after she died but she looked OK. ...not dead...

Jx

Jenny - 6 weeks or so on its still not real despite having mums ashes in my room, sold her house, sold her car, today im sorting mums clothes on my own. I will cry like a baby and plenty of smelling - we did lots of sorting whilst mummy was alive as we always said she was still in control of everything else, just not her body. You will read yr mums eulogy because you want to. She will be coaxing you and holding yr hand. You are part of yr mum.  Of course will be thinking of you a lot that day. Elenium,lovely you are at GSs and you got the train. I love going on trains and often did to mums. Hope the sun shines and plsd you are with some good energy. Sue, i imagine you cruising in Alans car as think its bigger than yr sold one, arm on window, window down in the summer breathing in fresh air with some sun on yr face.  Ok love to all im off to Norfolk. Dreading but cant wait. Once we have three dogs the sorting will be trickier. Im staying at our womb cottage with the wonderful kind lady who gifted our time there. She is eccentric and lives with a chicken. I think she is marvellous.  bobles, yantibee and ATherese and all new joiners sending love strength and as my signature says.....

I missedthis post Elenium. Thats a beautiful thing which is happening. So so pleased for you and GS, the 'forgivens' have found their balls as they couldnt cope. Mum used to tell me it made us special, (those of us who step up despite it being hard) apparently, i do get it, she also said the 'forgivens' have to live with themselves and they will have regrets.  Yay and you are doing the eulogy too. Of course im happy you are. Having been so hands on we have been the closests and will read direct from the huge heart you have. Red is ready. Much Sunday love x