Having a bad day

Hello,

 I didn't need to go to probate as everything was in joint names and came to me.

Maisiemai, I have His ashes in our bedroom, don't feel pressured to scatter them if you don't want to. It's not just your brother to think about, YOU are so important here.

Love to all.xxx

Dad was up at 12.30 and 5am zzzzzzz.

Maisiemae my sister wanted to clear all Mums clothes a couple of days ago.  I said no I need more time let's wait at least until after the funeral. .she also already mentioned scattering the ashes. ... I need a bit of breathing space! We are putting in cards a scarf and a necklace.

Both Dad and sis have written their words. I've been doing all the admin and have written nothing.  I'm going to drop Dad to dialysis this afternoon and go to my flat for a few hours to get some head space and collect my post!

Jx

Hi Elenium

If you are the executor it is probably quite a waste of money to get someone else to do the probate.

It is really easy. You can find all the information you need on the government website. Basically they send you a form, you fill it in with the value of the assets. You would have to get that information anyway to give to someone else who was going to fill in the form! Then you take it to a solicitor or commissioner for oaths and swear that you have told the truth.

You send it off to the probate office, they send back the forms you will need to close bank accounts etc. My only advice is to get several copies as you will need to send one off with each account , though they will send them back, and it is much cheaper to get them upfront.

I get rather cross about some of these services that charge people to do what the government to be fair has now made really easy and transparent (the first time I did it thirty years ago it was a real palaver). You will probably have more anxiety chasing up some service than just doing it yourself.

I hope it goes well, I have followed your story with great admiration.

Kind regards 

Niobe

Ps I forgot to mention that the oath is a standard fee, when I did it three years ago it was £10!. And the solicitor was really nice, I ended up using him for something else

Xxx

Dear Jenny

Please read what I have sent to Elenium

As long as your parents were married, the estate will not be subject to tax.

The probate for this will is going to be falling for a log, you really don't need to spend time or money on lawyers, especially one who operate on the Internet.

Apologies to any lawyers reading.......

Hi, just dropped in from the womb cancer group to tell my experience.  

When my father died many years ago my mother did not get probate thinking it unnecessary as everything went to her and there was no death duty (as it was then) to be paid .  When my mother died my sister did probate, taking no advice as she felt she could do it all herself and continued to live in the family home.  When my sister died I was the sole executor and found that she had not carried out all the steps to tidy up the estate.  I wanted to sell the house and now had to establish my right to sell it even though the original deeds were in my possession. .  It appeared that the ownership of the house had never been changed from my father.  Without his probate there was no official record of a will showing that it belonged to my mother etc......   There had to be much discussion between the District Registrar and lawyers to establish the correct procedure.  We ended up with delays and considerable expense sorting it all out and this at a time when I was going through diagnosis, surgery and radiotherapy!  

  Mine may be an extreme case but at least there were few family members involved.   Having experienced the delays and worry, I do think getting probate done and taking advice where necessary is a good idea!

The solicitor said he felt it was always cheaper and easier to do things right the first time! 

Thanks Oldady - great to have your experience on here.  Think I'll get probate quotes after the funeral.

Just not wanting to be ripped off.  But I think may use solicitors as although the will is simple the property Mum has was in her name not joint names.  If it were just her bank accounts I'd do it myself.  Bless her she has £6 in the post office.  May not sweat that one. 

She was keeping some euros at home for her next trip to Italy - that got me! 

Dad a bit confused at the moment but more because its all too much than infection or anything else.

I'm at my flat trying to write my words for the funeral - I can't even start saying them without crying!

I've just melted the handle on my espresso maker - put coffee in and on hob (its a bialetti) forgot the water!  I bought it on holiday with Mum.  Flat now stinks of melted plastic handle. I have a roof leak and my neighbours have complained about scaffolding - didn't know as not been here for a month. Also found Moonpig have delivered flowers and dumped them outside my door - told my friend who sent them and he's going to get money back and donate it to Trinity Hospice Clapham.  They clearly had an note saying take to a neighbour if I wasn't in. 

Think I may soak in the bath before returning to Mum and Dad's house (Dad's house???).

Jx

Dearest Jenny. Shitty day then? I found writing mums eulogy ok once I had My first sentence. Then the rest sort of flowed (for me) - it will come and it will be ok. Its part of the process. Well I found it was. Trinity Hospice - we are involved with there, is that where yr mum was? I wanted my mum there but it was too far for her husband to visit. We used to keep bees there, in fact the beautiful old hive in the gardens is ours. The first harvest was v poor but it raised £500 at the annual fundraiser ball (we dont go to that). Lovely thing to do and shame on moonpig. Tell neighbours to give you some time. Xxx

Oldady Ann - only here would someone drop in from womb cancer to help us 'relatives' on probate matters. Bless you xxxx

Ps Jenny, it will always be mums & dads home x