Having a bad day

Maisiemai,

That is lovely. I try to go for a walk when I get back from work and when it is clear and starry I always focus on the South star because it's so bright and imagine that it's bob looking after me!

I shall think of those words as well now.

Take care everyone x

Maisiemae lovely thought that.

Odd task choosing Mums clothes today. We have gone for summery outfit.  Odd in the snow but summer her favourite. So either she will have these or a natural calico wrap depending on things most folks would rather not know about. Poor Mum.

Meant to go out for meal with boyfriend this eve but I can't stay awake beyond 9 at the moment...he said i must do what my body wants (didn't say to be away from everyone).  Dad gets up at 1am too most nights. Better than he was.

Why is it so tiring? 

Jx

Elenium...I know... Things like ordering kindle can set you off.  My Amazon shopping suggestions and Mums post inviting her to craft fairs getting to me.

Maisiemae Italian boys (in their 60's) held dad's hand. V moving.

Spoke to gay couple she worked with in 60''s today.  They're full of great stories from mad times and also broken hearted.

Jx

My cousin messaged me to ask how I was doing.  His mum (mum's sister) died this time last year.  He said that it's the end of an era and we have to take on the mantle.  He said he's already taken on his mum's of slagging people off when he is out anywhere.  That makes her sound terrible but she wasn't, she was lovely and very funny.  I told him I couldn't  possibly take on mum's as she was much nicer than me.  She never had a bad word to say about anyone, whereas I have lots of bad words to say about lots of people all the time.

So many people have messaged me to say what a lovely person she was and she always made them feel welcome and part of the family. Growing up our house was always full.  All our friends wanted to come to our house and never go to theirs.  We even had friends come Christmas day as they'd rather be with us than at home.  Happy memories.

Been having a crappy day but daughters and I sat and watched Bridget Jones this afternoon, so feeling a bit better now. Was weird seeing Derek in it.

Whenever there's been a clear night here I've looked towards Perseus. For those that joined our little group later I named a star for my Alan for his birthday, which was 3 weeks before he passed. I told him I'd always know where to find him. I sometimes tell him about my day, though it will be more pleasant when the weather warms up.

I've had a couple of really low days so I'm sorry I haven't been very visible..

I read the posts & you're constantly in my heart my lovely friends. 

Hugs

Sue xx

Yantibee,

I forgot about Poppy!! I'm so sorry. Like Maisiemae I consider my cats as my furkids. Bella & Saffy have helped me no end since before Alan died. 

RIP Poppy. Run Free at the Rainbow Bridge 

Xx

Sweet Sue - will have to look up Alans star. Im sure it was bright x

Just me here tonight again, can't sleep even after a long day at work. Worried about my eldest, he is not in a good place losing his precious mum and I am somewhat helpless as to what to do. Plenty of reassurance that we all feel the same and that I am here to talk if he wants me, I am his dad and his mum now but he doesn't want to talk about it to me in case I get upset too! 

What a position this disease has put us in and the effects of it on the victim, our precious loved one have such a devastating knock on effect to us all left behind. Choppy waters ahead I fear 

Hope you all as ok as you can be today(Sunday) I realise for you all like me it's one day at a time and the ups and downs come out of the blue , I keep reading the posts, smiling at some and getting tearful at others , maisiemae the Inuit words are lovely, thank you for sharing x 

Yantibee the loss, distress, sadness, anxiety this disease leaves in it's wake seems impossible.   I see it here too. Dad didn't sleep I've made him a tea he wants to tell me how bad he feels, he does tell me, then goes in to Dad mode and tries to reassure he's OK.  He said recently.

"I had forgotten how it was when I lost my Mother, there was a huge hole where she once was.  I have lost my best friend but I had forgotten you had lost your Mum".

So he tries to be strong as a Dad. We appreciate this for our bad times but it is impossible he can't always be strong.

He is 81 he and Mum met in their 20''s.

I must hold on to the fact that people do go on, they do survive.  That seems a world away.

Love and respect for you and your boys.

Jx

Hello Jenny,

You are completely exhausted that's why everything is so tiring, plus you are caring for your dad too.

Lovely thought on your mum's clothes. When my mum died, it was November time so cold, and she was a3 thermal vest lady as she felt the cold. I remember going through her wardrobe to choose her clothes and discarding items for not being warm enough! Nuts or what!

Love to all!xxxxx