Having a bad day

Jenny,

Take your time honey, don't worry about the others. 

I've been getting lots of messages but people are leaving me alone really, which is fine. 

People are so kind.

My old boss rang me and said that although he didn't know my mum he would come to the funeral to support me if I needed him to.  I thought that was really lovely.  As we've said all along, this situation makes everyone show their true colours...

X

Oh Jenny,

You've done or thought nothing that would need forgiveness! Envy is normal. I can't speak for the others but I've certainly felt jealous of others who's lived ones passed more peacefully. I want to scream "It's alright for you but I watched a vibrant, larger than life, aggravating man who I loved dearly go through Hell!" I've realised it doesn't make me a bad person.

I just want him back

Sue

Xx

The outpouring of genuine love and respect on here is amazing. I still cant believe mum has gone, im not sure if im grieving or so busy i havent started or finshed or will ever stop. I cry at some things. Ive lost more than mum. I realise in some ways she became my life. Yantibee agreed wouldnt it be an honour to meet each other. Mum would love it. I talked about 'my friends on here' and she would ask after you all. Im sitting in the breast clinic now, having to sort myself out or rule out concerns. Please god rule out. The moment after mum died right through her funeral really showed up fuckwit central. Where were they all when I was cross eyed with fear and fatigue. I can never see some of those people in the same way again. I miss mum everyday in most things i do. In meeting you all i will know that all your lives and souls have changed shape too xxx

Sue agreed. I now know what hell looks like x

Mum's funeral is on Monday 27th February at 12.30. Mum loved anything Italian so (if you would like to) eat, drink or wear something Italian.  Raise a prosecco or cappucino/espresso to her, eat panettone or prosciutto. ..whatever you fancy.

 Love.

Jx

Jenny

Jenny, I have some jewellery that I bought in Italy over 20 years ago. I shall wear that.

We're asking everyone to wear some red for mum. It was her favourite colour and she hated wearing all dark clothes at funerals.

X

Dearest elenium - await red date and will be flaming red for you, yr mum and yr GS and children xxx

I've been a member on here since 2012 when i lost my mum to secondary liver cancer. I still receive email notifications about posts but have not read in a long time......until i saw how long this thread was getting. It piqued my interest and I just wanted to say how amazing you all are. The warmth and support is wonderful to see and I wish you'd been here at the time of my loss (although of course I wish none of you needed to be here at all!!). Sending you all hugs and thoughts of strength. It does get easier but even now it can be a struggle xx

Janet 78 - its been a long 80 pages but i think it will continue. Maybe slower but Elenium who started us off has just lost her mum, ver hard. We will be wearing red on the day for her funeral. Italian flavour for Jennys mum. Anything bright for my mums and plum for Darling Lady of yantibee Jill. Sue and Alan, Bobles and a few other names - which are hard to remember the spelling, dziet, annatheresa. X