Having a bad day

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Sorry but I'm having a bad day and I just need to let it out.  I woke up feeling like I've had no sleep and really down.  Mum's been bad this week - a lot of pain and, I think, sliding into depression - so I'm in overdrive on worrying about her.  My sister is with her today so I don't need to go round to see mum although I probably will drop round later.  I thought I would throw myself into cleaning the house so make myself busy and then I'd start to feel better.  My fatal mistake was asking my 18 year old daughter to help.  She had a major strop.  I tried to keep calm as I realise that she is worrying about my mum too but it was hard.  I tried to talk to her but she just got worse and worse so I gave up.  Then my husband made sarcastic comments about it all - again he is worrying and his mum is also not well - so I am still trying to keep a lid on it.  But I feel even worse now.  I'm now sitting on the sofa in my pyjama's watching old episodes of Grey's Anatomy without the will to do anything else.  I just keep crying and feel so very very sad. 

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    There are no words that will help Jenny but I'm sorry for your loss,. While in the end there is some relief that the suffering is over,  it's unbearably sad that any of it had to happen at all. I hope you will be able to get some rest now.

    Elenium, I'm thinking of you too and hope the driver is making your mum comfortable and pain free.

    Love to all x
  • Mum's gone. I was with her holding her hand. I think she knew I was there.

    Elenium

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to Elenium

    Elenium...your heartache is known to me. I didn't manage to do the same and be there at Mums passing even though was there for many hours each day, was definitely there for her rehearsal of passing...just not the actual point of her departure.... for which I am sad...although Mum had a nurse with her.

    Both our lovely Mums gone within a day of each other....(Mum died at 2.10am yesterday).


    It's unbearable. 


    My heart goes out to you...


    I hope my Mum is having a relaxed cuppa with her friend now.  


    Am sure your Mum is at a very peaceful place although missed forever by you.


    I fully realise the word loss is too small a word but am nonetheless sorry for it.


    Much love.


    Jx


  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    My Mums last 14 days were hellish days that should never have happened. ..etched on my febrile memory forever . Disgusting disease. Her bravery surpasses your evil grip.

    Love you Mum...peace gained at last I hope...


    Jx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to Elenium

    Dear God! You have some very special people with you now. Please please can you care for our mums, darling lady Jenny, Alan, bobles Husband and all the other recent losses leaving us folk with broken hearts. Other than that i cant talk to you as im beyond words x

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    Jenny, i hope too. And yes, hellish x

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to Elenium

    Elenium. A bittersweet passing holding your mums hand. You were with her and loved her to her last breath. Feel safe knowing she knew xxx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    We are on page 77 now of the conversation Elenium started.

    Love you all.


    Jx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to Elenium

    Elenium,

    I'm at a loss for words. Yours & Jenny's Mums are at peace & not suffering torment anymore.

    I'm convinced all our loved ones in this hellish journey knew who was there in body or soul at their end of this earthly life. 

    Like you Jenny I got to Alan 10 minutes after he died. He was warm & all his cares were gone. I will carry that image in my heart forever.

    Please look after yourselves. Accept help when offered. People care & want to help. 

    Much love

    Sue xx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    Oh Elenium I am so sorry , don't know what to say . Sending you my love and a hug, so sorry for your loss xx