Having a bad day

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Sorry but I'm having a bad day and I just need to let it out.  I woke up feeling like I've had no sleep and really down.  Mum's been bad this week - a lot of pain and, I think, sliding into depression - so I'm in overdrive on worrying about her.  My sister is with her today so I don't need to go round to see mum although I probably will drop round later.  I thought I would throw myself into cleaning the house so make myself busy and then I'd start to feel better.  My fatal mistake was asking my 18 year old daughter to help.  She had a major strop.  I tried to keep calm as I realise that she is worrying about my mum too but it was hard.  I tried to talk to her but she just got worse and worse so I gave up.  Then my husband made sarcastic comments about it all - again he is worrying and his mum is also not well - so I am still trying to keep a lid on it.  But I feel even worse now.  I'm now sitting on the sofa in my pyjama's watching old episodes of Grey's Anatomy without the will to do anything else.  I just keep crying and feel so very very sad. 

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    Sleep my tired one. If you can. Xxx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    Thanks M I need permission to sleep somehow  jx

  • Mum hadn't had her morphine patch for three days, they'd missed out one completely.  No wonder she was getting more pain.  She was agitated and fidgety, must have been withdrawal symptoms.  NOT GOOD ENOUGH! They had to give mum an injection to calm her so that she could sleep.  

    She ate a spoonful of soup and one of ice cream and that was it.  I did manage to get her to take some juice but not enough.  Her throat was still bad, but she was managing to whisper a bit.  Asked what was wrong with her.  Told her she had a cold.
    At one point I thought she had stopped breathing and started to panic but then realised that she was.
    My oldest sister came for three hours.  So glad she did.  No response from brothers though...
    Have hardly slept, just want this to be over.  She looks like a skeleton.
    Jenny, I was thinking of you yesterday feeling the same as me. Felt like you were there with me.
    X

    Elenium

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to Elenium

    She's gone now.

    Thank you my friends..for everything. 


    Jxxx

  • Oh Jenny,

    So sorry, but now at peace, it's what we wait for and want sadly.

    You have been amazing, tender and loving in your care for your mum, nobody could have done more.

    Love to you, your dad and sister.

    Thinking of you all today.

    Xx

    Take a deep breath ... then on with the day.

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    You have been incredible, know that. Heaps of love to you and dad. I hope our mummys meet. And breathe Xxxxxx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    So sorry J xx

  • Jenny, I'm so sorry.

    Elenium

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to Elenium

    Elenium still with you and your Mum.

    It's a blessed if heartbreaking relief.I saw her just after she'd gone with an unfurrowed brow at last and still warm to touch. 


    Was called at 2.15.am so tired now.


    Will be quiet a while now as informing family.


    Jxxxx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    Oh Jenny my love,

    I'm so sorry. 

    Your Lovely Mum is at peace.

    You're in all our hearts today.

    Please rest now

    Love Sue xx