Having a bad day

Jenny,

Surely they would let you stay longer, under the circumstances.

Sending you love and hugs. X

I've been told that I shouldn't have been questioned.

It won't happen again.

Am with mum for a while then home to sleep as dad dialysis tomorrow. 

We washed her hair.

She says why is it taking so long. She asks to die now please. 

HOW CAN WE CHANGE THE LAW?

jx

Oh Jenny i asked the same question. My heart goes out to you and your family x

Me too.  It's unbearable!  Seeing mum go through this is not right.  She should be able to die with dignity in her own home.  This is wrong!

We asked the same question and the doctor agreed, but said it would be difficult.

It's so so wrong to suffer like this.

Xxxxxx

My cousin and his wife came to see mum yesterday, which was lovely, but I realised this morning that I completely monopolised the conversation and couldn't stop talking.  I've been struggling the last couple of days and think I was probably over compensating because I didn't want them to see how bad I was.  I ended  up messaging him apologising because I just couldn't get past it.

Mum was really sleepy and grumpy yesterday and had a lot of pain.  She wouldn't take any extra pain relief.  

I hate this so much.

I just want to crawl into a hole somewhere and not think about it.  I don't want to interact with other people face to face. I just don't want to think.

I remember, and it now feels like forever since i held mums hand, the same feeling of wanting for it to end, mum saying let me go but it was barely audible. The pain of watching this will be etched in my brain. Now, i have my brother and his troubles. We had to ask him to leave the house yesterday, im scared of him, im afraid for us. My baby brother i had to throw out. He was threatening violence and break into mums house to live there... And worse. Weve had to make statements to the police, i feel wretched but felt had no choice. For this help weve given him all his life, and its a lot, he says ive lost mum and him and that i should go to the priory (again).  Oh and the rest of the violent threats, not forgetting he was on bail to ours re similar with someone else. Ive cried buckets for him, myself and what mum would say. She would agree with what weve done. Im broken.

Maisiemae it's all too much isn't it.

You've done your best for him he seems determined to self destruct.  Only he can change things.

Hug.

Jx

Elenium I want to curl up in a ball somewhere dark.

People keep asking me things.

Learned my aunt wishes I'd text her less about mum.

Tired.

Two positives 

Mum ate half an iced bun...bizarre as not eaten for days...

Dad slept from 1-7am

Jx

Hi all,

I just want someone to wrap me up in cotton wool, give me hugs & generally look after me. I'm being sucked into the treacle wall. My car's playing up again, I'm meant to be checking his car over to make sure it's ok before I sell it. Still no sign from the solicotors of the Deed of Renunciation.  Even hoovering is too much, & there's cat hair everywhere. 

What have I done that deserves this.  I'm on the edge of tears constantly but they won't come.

I'm going back to bed. 

Sue x