Hi all
writing this post to vent, discuss or just let loose really.
it’s been a very turbulent couple of months with my mums health. She’s 64 years old and a usually fit and active woman. The last two months we’ve been in and out of ED and GP surgeries due to various bowel issues, urinary retention and other health issues. Mums ended up catheterised and a mass was found on her ovary. Two weeks ago she has surgery to remove both ovaries and tubes and a biopsy conducted on the ovary. At the time the surgeons informed us they suspect stage 4 ovarian cancer; our world was turned upside down.
today mum met with the surgical oncologist for the first time who confirmed stage 3B cancer… possibly stage 4 as they can’t see if the cancer is inside the bladder, they can only see across the top of it. They want to do three rounds of chemo and possibly surgery if the tumours across her stomach have reduced in size. Mum is currently not keen on surgery. She looks grey, malnourished and is doing minimal mobilisation around the house. She says this is because of discomfort and trapped wind. The cancer team today were lovely, but they said she needs to be fighting fit as much as possible for chemo. She needs to start going for small walks and eating properly.
today after this news she seems to have slumped even more into depression. I’m not sure if it’s confirmation of what the surgeons said two weeks ago and the realisation of what’s to come. I’ve taken time off work (I’m a psych nurse) and my manager has been supportive, so I can be there for her given the shock to the family. I’m trying to push her to be positive, more active and to eat small regular meals. I have two young kids at home, it’s summer holidays and my husband works full time. I’m going there to do the housework when I can. I’m ashamed to say I feel a slight sense of frustration with her. I want her to fight this, and to be in the best health possible for chemo, but I feel I’m batting my head against a brick wall. I can’t get her to leave the house unless it’s for a medical appointment at the moment! She just doesn’t feel she can physically do it.
im shocked at how heavy it is being a carer. I’ve seen patients families struggle as carers and never really realised how hard it is.
someone send me some positive vibes or how you boosted family/ loved ones in these times.
