Why oh why can i do nothing right

Hi Patience. That sounds like a really difficult situation. Just keep telling yourself youbat4 doing the absolute best you can. You are entitled to be emotionally shot to pieces. I was terrible for about 6 months when my partner was diagnosed. There's no manual for this, patients or carers. I am guessing your husband just doesn't know how to deal with it. I found a shout into a pillow, a walk in the fresh air and breathing meditation helped me. 

Hope you both find a way to deal with this awful situation. 

Thank you  just get sad because there are times when i snap back and i dont really want to

I understand.  It's really difficult not to react. There's no right or wrong - no manual for this. All I can sat is I eventually found a way to cope. Took a long time though. My partner is about 25 cycles into it now and, although still incredibly sad, we have found a way to live as normally as possible. 

Yeh im sure will get there in the end  some days  things feel normal then  other days its off the scale Thanks for your kind words it does help  and i wish your partner well

Hi Patience. Just checking in to see how you are doing. I hope your situation has improved for both your sales.

Thanks ps67 lifes up and down really just spent nearly all day at oncology back again tomorrow and then back friday for an iron infusion  which i hope will help him

Hi Patience,

howcare you today? 
my husband has similar to yours. I get grumpy and over tired and sometimes say things that I don’t want to say out loud. Remember you are human, in shock, living with the anxiety and stress of having a huge shift in your relationship with your husband. Take some time out from the situation to breathe,, go for a walk, phone friends and family for a chat. My husband has become very self centred/selfish and doesn’t listen to me unless I am doing something for him. It might be part of the trauma of the diagnosis, an effect of medication or just an exaggeration of his authentic self….he was a selfish person before but seems even more so these days. I don’t cope well on some days. Talking to people outside of the situation helps, our local hospice has a living well centre I can phone or call into for a chat. Take care of yourself. 

It is difficult to.know what to do for the best.  I normally remind him  about his appointments and get the 'stop nagging' sideways look. 

Today I forgot, so he suddenly panicked as he was supposed to be at the district nurse clinic and he was already late!   What's the betting suddenly its my fault for not reminding him?

The nurse rang to check where he was, so I said he was on the way.  At least she didnt blame me!

My surgery does something called 'social prescribing'.  I have an appointment on Monday so will see what it is all about.  It does seem to be aimed to the person who is trying to keep the  'wheels turning.'

I know the feeling. Scans and bloods over the weekend before treatment early next week. Every tine I think I'm on a hamster wheel i just have to remind myself how much worse it is for my other half.

Been to oncology twice already this week down there again on friday  hes anaemic so having an iron infusion then next week its bloods again and chemo treatment Hes been advised not to drive till theyve sorted him out i do feel sorry for him but he never stops moaning even if i try to lighten the mood  but yes i have to remind myself like you PS67 it is horrible for him