Burn out

Maybe focus on getting him well, finding something for you and then having a conversation about how it felt for you. I haven't got to that point yet, thought about writing a letter. Says she getting annoyed as he's up the pub. 

Yes, I’m having the same sort of experience but I’m getting asked ‘when is my next tablet’, ‘where is the water that I need to take the tablet’. The other day I was so tired that I forgot his morning pill until mid morning and did I hear about it! It’s like he’s absolved himself of all responsibility. I’m really struggling, this is new to me and I’m terrified of the future. There’s only one of me, I can only do so much. 

Oh I feel your pain, you are not alone! How long has it been, is he still in treatment? 

He starts his chemo and radiotherapy  tomorrow.  It all started on 18 May this year when he had a seizure-  then it was found that he had a brain tumour.  He has been weaned of steroids - I think they caused the terrible mood swings but today has been hell. I’m pretty sure it’s because he’s nervous about tomorrow but he won’t talk to me about things. It’s like  treading on eggshells. 

I think.steroids have a lot to answer for.  He had horrendous mood swings yesterday and that is definitely not him.  He is usually the calmest person.  He was complaining about skin changes just now.  Going round with no top or hat, being all smug about using sunscreen.  I told him to pretend to be a red head from now on.  Long sleeves and a hat.  Yes, yes he said and did nothing about it.  So I laid down the law.  Told him he is an adult and should be  responsible for his own health without being nagged.  The trials and tribulations of being a partner!

On another note.  I am on the waiting list for an ileostomy reversal.  If a date comes up I obviously can't take it while he is on chemo.  Have pretty much decided not to go ahead if a date comes up.  I can't afford to be out of commission.

Hi, sorry to hear you’re having to cancel your operation - I’ve had to cancel an operation 3 times although mine is just for blocked tear ducts so nowhere near as serious as yours. I feel to be constantly using this forum to complain so apologies. We’ve had a really good week but my partner just turned on me today for no apparent reason. I just don’t know what to do. I get that he’s scared but as I’ve mentioned before he won’t talk about his fears. I made an evening meal, he said he didn’t want anything but I knew that if I didn’t make enough for both of us I’d get a mouthful but got a load of verbal abuse as he’d said he didn’t want anything. I just don’t know what to do. Sorry, he’s a good man normally, I’m making out like he’s a nasty person, I just can’t do anything right. 

That would make sense and during treatment you have to take a step back and take nothing personally. I can't say the eggshells have got any better as a caregiver for me though a year out NED. 

No apology required. I believe this is what this forum is for to support each other as best we can and simply be there when we don't have anyone else to turn to. 

Thanks, I don’t want friends and family thinking he’s an awful man, he’s not. This  forum has helped so much -  this illness is so cruel. 

My hubby was a proper grump. Nothing I did for him was right. All the meals I cooked for him he said tasted disgusting even though he had eaten them for over 20years.  I used to go into the kitchen sob my heart out. One night I had just about had enough. I told him that I didn't sign up to all this & I wasn't going to put up any longer with his behaviour.I was going to ask the district nurses get him admitted back into hospital. I left him to it whilst I calmed down & when I went back to him he apologised . He still had his moments whilst we were alone but whenever anyone from the medic profession came to see him he was all sweetness & light. He was like 2 different people.

Unfortunately he died just 3 months after his diagnosis. I'd give anything to have him back here but I'm so glad his suffering didn't go on any longer than it did