My mum started chemo this week and had her first cycle of Pola R-CHP. Luckily she's had no reactions and so far (day 3), feels completely normal.
Has anyone else had this chemo and also, is it normal to not have any reactions? Luckily, she 'felt' healthy since first being diagnosed with Non-Hodgkin lymphoma 4 years ago, but recently found the low-grade had changed to high-grade after discovering a big lump on her neck.
The reason I'm here is because we invited her to stay with us throughout her treatment so we can look after her. But she wants to stay in her own home and expects us 3 children to take turns living with her. She said the doctor said she needs a carer with her 24/7. Is that correct - even is she's not showing any symptoms now?
My husband and I have a big house with a spare bedroom, and a garden she can go out in. Her house is dark, and cluttered with dog stuff as well as my dad's stuff who passed away 7 years ago. (She left her dog with a friend for the course of her treatment). My sister has 2 kids - the younger one is 13 so still at school.
Basically, my sister and I can't do much/any work if we move in with her but my mum refuses to come and stay with me which I find unreasonable.
Of course, we love and want to take care of my mum and have tried our best since dad passed away in 2018, but she's been using that as an emotional blackmail ever since. We are not allowed to have our own opinion that differs from hers as she immediately shouts and begs for 'kindness and compassion'.
If we answer back, she says really hurtful things and told my sister she caused her cancer from giving her stress which I couldn't believe - but we try to forgive (hard to forget).
Anyway, as she is feeling 'normal' now, do you think we should give in to her demand on pausing our lives and taking turns to live with her? She has the option to stay with us as she's been retired for over 15 years but refuses to give up her home.
It's really stressful and sad that she can't see we're trying our best to help her, yet she makes us feel guilty for not doing 100% what she wants 100% of the time. Before she used dad not being here as an excuse/reason, and now she's using her illness to get whatever she wants.
Sorry for the long post, but it's really stressing us out. Oh, we have a brother who's only one year younger than me but my mum doesn't expect (hardly) anything from him.
Thank you for any advice and have a lovely day!
