Hello everyone,
I'm reaching out for advice regarding my poor mum, she is only 66 years old and was sadly diagnosed with terminal breast cancer in May 2023 and was given a prognosis of 9 months with treatment. Despite undergoing 16 rounds of chemotherapy, she's still struggling immensely. Witnessing her rapid decline has been incredibly tough.
She lives alone and is finding it increasingly difficult to manage day-to-day tasks. The chemo has left her mobility impaired, and she relies on a zimmer frame to get around. Simple chores like cooking, laundry, and housekeeping have become very difficult for her. While I try my best to help, balancing this with caring for my own young children, and the fact that she lives 30 minutes away, makes it incredibly demanding.
Recently, she expressed a desire to move closer to my sister and me. While she doesn't want a live-in carer, we recognize the need for additional support. However, finding suitable care options has been daunting. Most care homes in the area cater to much older residents, and the one I've found that she might be comfortable in is very expensive. Selling her house to fund it would add another layer of stress to an already difficult situation so not really an option right now.
She has stayed with us a few times recently but my children find it quite difficult hearing her crying and she is very restless at night so this then disturbs them which is not ideal either.
Currently, she receives some funding from Continuing Healthcare, which covers her daily carers at home. However, there's uncertainty about its continuation, as she needs to meet stringent health criteria for eligibility. While they would fund nursing care if necessary, they won't cover a care home, which I don't believe she's ready for yet.
I would greatly appreciate any advice or insights from those who have navigated similar situations. Has anyone had success with securing funding for a care home or qualifying for Continuing Healthcare funding? What options are available for individuals dealing with this and living alone in such challenging circumstances?
Thank you in advance for any help you can offer.
Hi JaneyJane
My name is Steph, I'm part of the Community team. I am so sorry to hear about your mum and the lack of support you're experiencing.
I hope that you're finding it helpful to be able to talk everything through here in the forum, but I hoped to be able to direct you towards some further support.
Macmillan has a brief guide on NHS continuing healthcare and links to the NHS continuing healthcare pages for more information. The health or social care professionals directly involved in your mum's care will be the best placed to support you, but you can contact our Support Line for general advice and support.
Even if you just want to chat with someone who is there to listen, I’d really encourage you to give us a call. Our Support Line teams are available 7 days a week, 8am-8pm on freephone 0808 808 00 00, email or live webchat.
The following Macmillan information pages might also help you navigate the system.
Our guides on practical support for carers
Care and support if you have advanced cancer
I hope this is helpful and that you don't mind me popping in here to offer some support.
