Heartbroken

Hi passamaquoddyb47331.

Im sorry to read you are going through this, its so hard. My mum had Alzheimers and she was very aggressive and told everyone I was colluding to take her her money. 

My husband, who died in October started saying odd things and hallucinating in the last week, in fact it was these outbursts that led the hospice nurse to say he didnt have ling. He got more and more agitated in the last few days. 

Im not saying this is the case for your mum, what did the doc say? Did you get that Marie curie support yet?

Fast track CHC may help if you are in England or Wales. Sadly Tonys came through the day he died.

You are not a failure, but it is something I think we all feel in that caring role because we are doing everything for the person we love yet it never felt like enough. Yes we take it personally because often we are closest. But you are not, i hope in time, you come to believe it.

Hugs to you x

Thank you x We had two wonderful nights of nursing cover. I honestly don't think I would have gotten through yesterday with those two nights sleep. Mum has a bed in a cottage hospital starting  from tomorrow. I have asked the docs about these symptoms but they can't say if it's opioid toxicity or that we're heading into the end stage. Hopefully we'll have a clearer picture once she's in hospital.  X 

Im glad you got the night care, it was so much needed in the last 3 weeks to me. 

Im glad she is going to the hospital, that will help you too, as they will be on hand for you. 

I know these days will be difficult if she is now at end of life care point( and we also know people can rally) but you can just be with her, tell her how much you love her and recount shared memories.

X

So pleased to hear you have the bed in the cottage hospital - it will be reassuring to know she’s in the hands of professionals.

You’ve coped brilliantly on your own but you must be nearing the end of your tether and feeling utterly drained and distraught. You need that support - anyone would in that overwhelming scenario - so please don’t consider yourself to be a failure.

Once she’s in hospital, hopefully you can take a step back and reset. And get some decent sleep. Thinking of you and I hope you get some answers as to why the delusional behaviour is happening.  

Hi passamaquoddy

How has the move to hospital for you and your mum?

She was quite relaxed about it. I went back in the afternoon and she'd been asleep so she thought she'd only been there an hour. She actually phoned me this morning asking for clothes and sounded bright and alert.  I did speak to the nurse yesterday and she said with mum's current care needs they won't be sending her home soon.  I had a good cry last night and feel better for it.  I didn't grow up in this area ( Scottish  Highlands) so I'm feeling a bit like a fish out of water. But mums neighbours have been very kind.  It's usually hard for me to accept help from people ( I'm usually the one doing the helping) but I'm trying to get over myself and saying yes as much as possible!  My best friend is making the 3 hour drive up here next Monday. I haven't seen her in a year so I'm really excited to see her!  How are you doing? X