New here. Husband been diagnosed

Hi Livim

my husband has just had his 2nd round of treatment too, he's been quite a bit more poorly this time. I hope your are both coping OK it's such a lot isn't it. I'm back to work tomorrow after 3 months off with him and I'm a bit wobbly about leaving him for my 10 hour shift but equally bills need paying and I can't stay home forever. 

Good luck with your journey always here for a chat. X

Hi DIFarmgirl, hope your first few days at work went ok and your husband is feeling ok after the latest round of chemo. Seems tough to have chemo then recover a bit to then go through it again doesn't it x

I am in the same boat with my husband having second round of chemo for metastases. I have been off for 2.5 months now and looking to return to work, hopefully working from home most of the time. It's very hard to deal with emotionally and practically. I guess we are all muddling through a brutal situation.

Hi Livim, it really does I feel I'm just getting glimpses of him back and then he's rough again. He had a phone call with his oncologist today and they are reducing his dose of oral chemo going forward to give him better quality of life. 

Work was OK thanks and its my Birthday today so we have some of our children and grandchildren over. Hope things are going not too bad with you guys. 

Take care  

We just found out yesterday that my husband has colorectal cancer- waiting now to find the stage. He had only mild symptoms, so it’s a shock.  He’s a fit and well man.   I came here as I feel I’m in the bubble too.  My world has literally stopped overnight.  I don’t feel at all brave and haven’t  been able to put a positive face on for my children.  This wasn’t meant to happen. We had plans. I’m terrified of the treatment he’ll have to go through and I also feel very selfish, but I’m terrified of being left alone as my children are at the point of leaving home. I can’t see the future anymore.  It’s just a massive black hole. 

Hi so sorry you are having to deal with this. The shock is very real and powerful. I tried to be quire strict with my thoughts and not look past the day we were in or I honestly felt I would go insane. Try not to think worse case scenarios and wait until you know what you are dealing with and what the plan is. The waiting for us was the hardest part. 

Don't feel bad for not hiding your feelings from your kids I think it's better to be open and honest and let them see your emotions because they might be holding theirs in to protect you. With my adult kids I know whem we have all.had a good cry we have felt stronger and more clear headed for a few days afterwards.

Good luck  

Thank you- this helps. Xx

Can I ask how it's going for all of you posting in this half-year old thread?  My husband (age 48, slim, active, vegan, never ever smoked, drinks little) was diagnosed not quite a month ago.  Stage IV, with metases to the liver, but just going next week to find out more about the treatment to come, because he needs some time to recover from surgery.

Feeling so scared and nervous about the path ahead. :(

Hi, my husband is doing OK. He has completed his first round of chemo. It has shrunk significantly in all areas. We've just been to uist on holiday for a week which was amazing. 

He is tired alot, is really limited to how far he can walk. He is struggling with peripheral neuropathy (can't feel his feet and fingers) this frustrates him

alot as it could be permanent.

We know it will come back, he's going to get another scan in September. 

Personally,  I only took advise from my gp to seek help for myself after showing physical signs of stress 2 weeks ago. 

Feeling scared and nervous about what's ahead is to be expected. If I can offer you advise, it would be to look after yourself as well as your husband.

Unfortunately we find ourselves in a situation where we face so many unknowns and we lose control of our future.

You'll find strength inside you didn't know you have. 

Xx

I am so sorry.  I felt exactly the same in January, when my husband received his diagnosis. Our world and plans turned upside down overnight.   I came to this forum for support, and it has been a real comfort to know I am not alone.  I felt terrified and was in pieces for several weeks.  I googled everything and became quite panicked, but a good friend told me I had to stop.  That I was tearing myself up and my family really needed me.  That gave me the push to stop anticipating the worst and just try to take each day as it comes. Once we had a treatment plan the anxiety eased as at least we knew something positive was happening.  My husband has completed 5 out of 6 chemo sessions now.  He’s coped better than expected.  The main side effects are neuropathy and fatigue.  It’s been doable for him luckily.  I’m trying not to worry about the next stages- scans and surgery- otherwise I’d go mad.  

Try taking each day as it comes.  It’s one way to cope.

Sending you lots of best wishes and support

xxx