New here. Husband been diagnosed

1. Hi Larabelle, sorry to hear what you have been going through. When we were at the stage you are we tried to not look too far ahead. Somedays when his pain was very bad we just took an hour at a time. Try and look after you whatever that looks like, walking or seeing friends it's so important to help you keep strong for him. 
2. It felt for me that my world had stopped turning and although friends and family were supportive I felt like I was in a bubble and everyone was just getting on with their lives and mine had stalled. Just try and be kind to yourslef and don't bottle things up scream cry shout, let those feelings out. I find somatic yoga really helped me on the darkest days where I felt I had lost myself. You can find some on you tube. 

I heard a counsellor once say when someone was worried they wouldn't be able to cope and be strong enough the counsellor said that version of you is born at the moment the bad thing happens your strength is forged in the flames of the trauma. You will get through this just 1 step at a time. 

Hi DlFarmgirl, thank you for responding. What you described about your bubble is so true. I like the counsellor anecdote

1. Hi Larra1  I’m so very sorry to hear your husband is poorly at the moment. I am in a very similar situation to you as we were told two and a half weeks ago that my husband’s bowel cancer had spread to his liver, we are also of similar age (him 49 me 45). I totally understand where you are coming my life too feels like it’s imploding. I find it’s quite an isolating positing being the ‘carer’ and having to be the positive rock! I am quite an anxious person naturally and this has tipped me right over the edge. It is so lovely to be able to come here and vent, and perhaps put down in words some of the things you are thinking but could never really voice, and reassuring that others are probably having very similar experiences and feelings.  
   I really hope your husband gets over his chest problems, and that you are at least able to spend time togther at home over the holidays. Sending you much love! Xx

HI EA1, 

Hope you and your husband have had a comfortable day. 

We have had a quiet one. Dozing and Reading mostly, can't concentrate on tv and the forced happiness of Christmas films and specials are grating. 

My sister brought xmas dinner round for us. We would normally go to hers and spend the day with her and her husband and their 2 kids and my dad( I lost my mum September 2019) 

My husband and I never had kids by our own choice so thankfully I don't have to protect them through this nightmare.

My husband has struggled to eat much today. He's plagued by hiccups every hour or so. I totally get your feelings of being your husbands 'carer' suddenly.  I am blessed with an amazing sister and my sister in law has been incredible. I have a small circle of friends who are being great

I hope you have friends and family who can support you through this, I keep being told I need to look after myself so I can be strong enough to look after hubby. 

Xx

I am in the same boat as you. Husband's been diagnosed with colon cancer stage 4 spread to liver 2 weeks back. we are both 38yrs with 2 kids. Its been an absolute nightmare. He has deteriorated so fast and is now mostly in bed with fatigue. Chemo is yet to start. I am dreading juggling his care, kids, work and finances. Got a good set of friends but don't want to burden someone else too much as well. 

Its nice to have a place to vent out my fears even if it is online.

oh Sam_85  I totally understand what you are feeling, everything seem so scary and out of control doesn’t it. I know no one can make things right or better, it is so reassuring to be able to vent here and see that other people are going through the same thing, and having all the same thoughts and feelings. I know I feel incredibly guilty for some of the things that have gone through my head these past few weeks, but since coming on here I have realised that I am not alone in this.  I hope you have managed to spend some happy times over the holidays with your family. 
Sending you much love  

Hi Sam_85, 

I'm sorry to hear of your husbands recent  diagnosis. 

That's my husband had his chemo infusion 2 weeks ago this Wednesday coming and his oral chemo end this Wednesday, one week off before we do 2nd session. 

It's tough, I've gone from his wife to his carer, giving him the meds that are wiping him out. First week was hard, he had no appetite and has lost alot of weight but he is eating more over the last couple of days. Had to arrange better anti sickness meds too. 

Please accept help from your set of friends, you need to stay sane to help your husband. 

Xx

I am trying my best to let ppl help. I have been a carer for my mom since 13yrs of age. Its draining I know and I find it hard to let ppl in as well. So all in all its overwhelming with so much information and so many ppl calling and asking if we are okay. But trying my best to just go with the flow.. taking things one day at a time. 

Hi Sam, I just wanted to extend a virtual hand hold- my husband (41) was diagnosed with bowel, liver and lung cancer on Friday (spread from bowel but he had no symptoms other than pain for a few days). He's on his second infusion of chemo - it's all been so fast. I know what it's like about telling people and talking about it. We too are in day at at time stage. Sending love and hope you have a good day today 

Hi LiviM 

So sorry to hear about your husband. Had a doctor's appointment yesterday and heard that its spread to the lungs as well though not as bad. Its hard knowing that I don't have all my life with him. Trying to stay strong and positive but its hard work.

Prayers for you and your husband!!