Feeling down

Hi Kell, firstly, Happy birthday !! 
No need to apologise, it’s hard being the carer and the mum. I totally feel your pain and stress. We do need to make time for us though so don’t feel guilty or that it’s selfish. 
Take care xx

I’ve had a similar birthday this year , we have 4 girls he could have asked to buy me a card , why didn’t they ask him ? On the day I got…is it today ? oh I thought it was tomorrow …I don’t know what he was thinking, he hadn’t bought me a card anyway….so I went out and spent a chunk of money on myself …it didn’t make me feel any better …when all I wanted was a card 

so yes , I know how you feel , cancer is horrible, it affects the whole family , I don’t worry that our lovely daughters didn’t think to say …hey dad? …but I’m not going to upset them by saying anything either …sometimes I feel like I’m just the go for or the taxi driver …when all we actually need is a hug …so I’m sending you one xxx

Hi, Happy Birthday firstly x Me and my partner was on holiday in August now he has terminal brain cancer and is inoperable. I have him at home in pallative care. My life has been turned upside down my children have been amazing. We spent time in hospital having mri lumbar puncture and brain biopsy. They first said over the phone he had 12/18 months to live then when we went to Guys cancer centre to see specialist they said look more to 2/3 months. Our world shattered he had no feeling on his left side and needed a wheelchair. That was in the Thursday. Then on the Sunday he had a bad seizure and I gave him cpr until ambulance came. I never thought he would ever wake up. The doctors told me the next 24 hours will be critical. We sat by his bed all night and in morning he woke up and said any chance of a cuppa !!! I couldn’t believe it. That was 5 weeks ago. It has been a rollercoaster one day I can’t stop crying and next I’m back being strong again. He is bed bound but can hold his drink and feed himself he is still eating and drinking at the moment. He is fighting everyday we are never giving up we are thankful for every day we spend together. I can’t think of when he can’t swallow that will be the next thing to go. He also had a.blood clot in his leg and I have to give him an injection in morning and at night. It’s my birthday on Wednesday and I know it will be our last one together so I’m just thankful. I have put all Xmas decs up and massive Xmas tree we always loved Xmas with our grandchildren and I don’t know if he will see Xmas but until he deteriates we will hold on.I haven’t left the house only to pick meds up from chemist. Stayed in my pjs most of the time. It’s been hardest thing I have ever had to do I thought we would grow old together life can be so cruel but I’m staying positive and am thankful for everyday .

I feel so sorry for you …I can’t even put into words about how you must be feeling …sending you hugs xx

Thank you just message if you need a chat or a rant I’ve been keeping a diary I find it helps me get all my emotions out and ready to start a new day x

Thank you …you’re going through hell yet still finding time to help others …take care, sending you hugs and deep thoughts to help you through xxx 

Thank you We have good days and bad days they have weened him off steroids now he takes his last one in the morning. I’m still giving him 2 injections per day for his dvt. That is hardly swollen any more. He should have had another scan but he doesn’t want to go hospital anymore he’s done with hospitals now. The nurse came in and did a blood test today check liver kidneys etc, so wait for results. On the whole he’s doing really well still eating and drinking. I’m just trying to be positive everyday because truthfully nobody knows. I know he can go downhill anytime so I’m just enjoying every day with him. It was my birthday and we had a lovely day. He had planned a lovely card with my daughter and told her what to write. He had also bought my a little gold love heart locket. I never take it off. You have to have hope ️

So sorry you are finding yourself in this position. I am in the same situation as my husband started having symptoms in August and was diagnosed with inoperable Grade 4 tumour. Too poorly to make radiotherapy sessions but only three weeks was being offered anyway. Oncologist said to make the most of time we have left, could be two months. It will be 8 weeks on Monday since she said that. He is not very mobile, can’t use his right side and isn’t very communicative. We have paid carer once a day but basically I am his full time carer. My two grown up children have been amazing but we are all devastated. We have gone from being a happy, active couple of 52 years to a couple who struggle to get through each day. He can’t wash or undress himself. I have strained my back and in agony a lot of the time. He has got much weaker over the months. Sleeps a lot.We just don’t know how long he has. The house is full of equipment. We have moved downstairs as he couldnt do stairs any longer. We have had such a happy fulfilling life, it just seems so sad now to just sit and watch life pass us by. 

Hi it’s so frustrating because he can not have any radiotherapy or chemo because they don’t think he will be able to cope. It’s his last day on 2mg of steroids he was on 16mg. The only thing he can use is his right hand. He gets really down stuck in a bed for 24 hours a day when in August we had a fabulous 5 star holiday.  I try to keep him upbeat but I’ve been sleeping on sofa next to his bed since this all happened. He is on anti seizure medicine once in morning once at night. I’m trying to think of things he can do using one hand. Daughter bought connect 4 so I’ve been challenging him any ideas greatly appreciated. Please message anytime x

So so very sorry for you . It’s heartbreaking …my daughter and son in law lost his mum about 2 years ago , the comfort they had was while she was sleeping she wasn’t in pain …I sincerely hope that this helps you too …take care xxx