Hi all
my wife of 22 years was diagnosed in march 2024
initially I let all my emotions out but it was so painful. I have recently turned off all my emotions. This is having a negative impact on my family and myself because I’m just pushing people away. I feel I’m on the edge all the time snapping at people and don’t want to be close to my wife.I reached out for help for the first time today and I think it’s clear. I’m just petrified of a life without my wife.
is anybody else experienced something similar where they have just turned off their emotions and don’t really feel much other than anger?
I seem to be keeping those closest to me furthest away from me for the fear of being hurt.
I’m still functioning. I go to work every day and I haven’t had a day absence in the four years I’ve worked there, but when I’m at home, I’m just not a nice person to be around.
Hi Jamieaa1a0c
Welcome to our community, i hope you find it both informative and supportive.
I am Steve, one of the community champions and my experience of cancer is via my wife who has Leiomyosarcoma.
Janice's diagnosis came after quite a long period of illness and I thought I mostly seemed to be coping ok, though she was clear she never wanted a prognosis and I really struggled with that especially as our son was quite young and I was very worried how I would cope after she died.
Her first attempt at chemotherapy caused perhaps even more problems and quite a few stays in hospital and I came close to breaking eventually turning to the Maggies at our local hospital. With them I worked out I needed something of a break and my GP agreed and signed me off work for a couple of weeks.
A while later I did a living with less stress course, it helped me to focus on the here and now rather than living in a dark future I could not control and often I imagined things worse than they actually turned out. Another element that was quite helpful was conscious breathing that was useful both in helping me relax but also when something unexpected happened.
We do have quite a bit on here around my feelings when someone has cancer that I find quite helpful in being able to recognize the emotions and accept them as normal can help to make them less overwhelming.
<<hugs>>
Steve
