Feeling so tired...

Hi gnilggurts, I'm ok just getting through one day at a time, doing the day to day jobs, putting the bins out, cutting the grass [ had to get to grips with the mower ] as hubby always did it, just mundane things to occupy myself.  Our neighbours have been very kind with offers of help and my younger daughter & boyfriend are supportive too.  It's a shame that a number of people have been diagnosed too late for treatment.  I had to make many phone calls before I got someone to listen and get my hubby some urgent care, as he was very dehydrated and weak.  Since being in hospital he has improved and looking better.  He has had a 3rd stent fitted but still on liquids, but hopes to begin soft foods today.  I have days when I just wander from room to room and have stopped listening to music as it make me cry.  I just wish there was a meeting place apart from online that carers could meet up and chat.  I have herd of Maggies, but not one near me.  We have been together for 39 yrs, had two daughters, although the older one is not in contact with us so doesn't know about her dad.  I have considered counselling because I need to talk to someone about stuff, but it is nice to know that our online friends are there so we can sound off when needed. Thanks for being there, best wishes & hugs.  xxxxSue

Hi Pippi (Sue), Thanks for the message, sounds as if you are getting to grips with a few things, like cutting the grass, I’ve always done the gardening, so that is one of my jobs lined up for this week. The Hospice nurses came to visit my Husband yesterday, as he just doesn’t want to get up anymore, they checked him over, but are not overly concerned about his weight etc, but I really don’t think he would go into hospital, without a fight, he can be very strong minded. So I’m up and down the stairs all day, checking if he is ok, although a lot of the time he is asleep. We haven’t got family, so I do find it extremely hard some days, I tried Counselling, but unfortunately it didn’t work for me. Maggies is a cafe which you can go for help and advice etc to, but there isn’t one near to me either. I too find it hard to listen to music now, we’ve just had our 42nd Anniversary. The nurses told me yesterday of a text line that is free and 24/7, for people finding times hard and are struggling etc, it’s text SHOUT 85258, don’t know if this would help you, but I might find the courage one day to text, perhaps you can aswell? Hope your Husband finds some nice soft foods that he can manage, ice cream or custard is a good start, full of calories. Bye for Now xx Carole

Hello. I just wanted to say that I was told the hospitals offer counselling so do ask about that. Also local cancer groups (our one does anyway) may offer free counselling. Do enquire as it may help you. 
sending big hugs xx

Hi Sue, I wish I could give you a hug. I hope your husband is feeling better and he is making progress with the soft foods. Everyone is on at me for counselling but right now the priority is my mum and taking one day or should that be hour at a time. Thinking of you x

Other foods that might help that we are trying are Jelly, yogurts, rice pudding, mashed up baked potato or just mash with cheese or baked beans or corn beef anything soft really, Raspberries mashed up with sugar, rice pudding and of course soup, I have found finding savory things the hardest to find. I hope you are ok? x

Have you tried aymes chicken soup (on prescription) husband has said it's nice and chickeny!!!!! smells fantastic too (  think of roast chicken ) 

Thank you, I'll try that, cup a soups weren't a success and there not very nutritional. We have found a nice vegetable one in a carton but the vegetables are hard, although I try and mash them up.

Know how your feeling I too wanted and still at tines do want to run away , my partner has advanced metastatic prostate cancer , his mobility is so bad I do everything in the house including his care , I get totally jealous seeing couples holding hands and wish that was us , holidays a distant memory,unfortunately I don't have a lot of support friends ran away after diagnosis,  I know it's not his fault but and tired all the time and feel my life is deteriorating,  also miss my old life at 47 I feel 97 , I feel theses no support for carers 

Its incredibly tiring being the caregiver and doing everything in the house too, not to mention the emotional strain you are under. Do you have a long term prognosis for him? Have you asked Macmillan about getting some homecare help? caring for my partner at home almost finished me off, I was at breaking point, physically and emotionally. My partner had no mobility either so I was having to lift her on and off the commode, and although I am reasonably fit at 62, I struggled badly. I was at breaking point when I contacted Macmillan, they were brilliant, could see the state I was in and very quickly found a place in a local hospice for my partner. We were so incredibly blessed to have this. She spent 6 weeks there before she died 11 days ago. I feel like you when I see other couples, I m happy for them but overwhelmed with sadness that I have lost my soulmate. Please contact Macmillan, also your GP, they have quite a lot of influence and may be able to get you some help. Do you have family that can help out? xx

Hi gnilggurts, just a catch up.  Felt quite desperate this am so rang Samaritans, not really any help though.  Had a counselling appt. last wed, but can't go back as too far.  Feeling very lonely and scared as my husbands is growing weaker and told only months left.  I still can't accept the situation and wet our old life back, I suppose that applies to everybody too.  We have been left a lot of info on end of life care but I can't bring myself to read it.  I haven't text SHOUT 85258 either.  How is your husband doing?  I thought we might be able to e-mail each other, not sure if allowed.  Have been busy trying to keep mind off this nightmare by gardening, but when cutting the grass I cut through the cable.  Hubby said he would fix it for me,  I depend on him for so much and can't believe he will soon be gone.  I am sorry to offload on you but need someone who understands.  Sending love and hugs,  Pippi [ sue ]