Feeling so tired...

Oh my love I’m so sorry.  Have you got anyone to help you? it’s so much to do on your own. No one should have to go through this alone. 
sending you love and strength xx

Thanks, she doesn't want carers or to be "pulled about" it just feels like she's giving up.

It’s heartbreaking it absolutely is. I wish someone could wave a magic wand and we all wake up from these nightmares. X

That would be nice in the meantime just know I'm thinking of you and your family 

Hi how is your mum love? X 

I think it's worse when you have been there before. My mum had breast cancer 13 years ago  just as she recovered my dad was diagnosed with lung cancer he passed away and months later I lost my brother to cancer, no sooner he was diagnosed we lost him. My mum was then diagnosed with blood cancer and with COVID we have had to be careful for so long it's been the two of us in a bubble now things have escalated and she has gone downhill so quickly but she doesn't want carers, she isn't difficult to look after its just hard seeing her like this.

Fingers crossed it has been a good start to the day she managed a cup of tea and I'm just waiting for some different pain medication, I am hoping that will help. How are you?

Gosh our stories are very similar, 14 years ago my mum was diagnosed with breast cancer, a couple of months later my dad was diagnosed with terminal liver cancer, total shock. He died 3 weeks later. You are right, it is worse when you have been there because you know how hard it it. This time its a different kind of pain because I have lost my partner/best friend/soulmate. Its so hard seeing someone you love like this, sending you a huge hug and always here for a chat or a moan xx

Thank you it's really appreciated, it's only now I realised how isolated I have become. Look after yourself, sending hugs x

I can understand your feelings of isolation had two years of being at home and ultra careful over covid

as husband was immuno suppressed, then when you can look forward to things cancer came along and not us on the bum . (Not literally it was tonsil soft palette and base of tongue ).  Had biopsy on tonsil ended up in Intensive care on a mechanical vent then he had chemoradiotherapy contracted sepsis three from the end.  Got over that to be told original cancer gone with treatment but now gone to base of skull has just started immunotherapy as can't be operated on . 

My son's been fantastic but am doing the caring as a one man band and loneliness is there as husband getting anxiety attacks plus his pain meds. Have got a brother and sister in law in town but been here twice since Xmas

It's not easy but somehow we get the energy to do what has to be done and the strength to see it through Lynne