Feeling so tired...

Hi Crystalwitch, I am caring for my Husband at home, the last few days have been bad, because he just doesnt want to get up, his appetite is almost zero now. Anyway thanks for your kind words.

Hi gnilggurts, have to say my husband was diagnosed with the same cancer too.  He has stage 4 also over some months found it difficult to eat/drink due to a large amount of thick mucus that kept coming up.  Did your husband have this problem? our consultant hadn't heard of it.  He was given 2yrs July 21 at he moment he is in hospital on fluids as he is very malnourished. I have been at my wits end trying for weeks to get him help/assessed but not much luck. I keep reading about all the support there is available but I haven't had much.  How are you doing? sending best wishes and hugs.  Pippi x

Hi Pippi, My Husband has had Mucus problems from the start, he was given tablets for the Reflux etc and he got through bottles of Gaviscon liquid. He went through all of the required treatments, Chemo, Radiotherapy, Immunotherapy, then was putting on a feeding tube, then got rid of that and was given a stent, which is what he has still got. He has only been able to eat soft foods and lives on Fortisips drinks, because he cant get enough calories. He has never had a Weight problem in his life, always been slim, but has always loved his food, which makes this Cancer all the worse. I don't feel we've had the support that we should have had, feel as if we've gone under the radar. Its always been up to me to phone for any help, but if you don't know what's available, you don't know who to ring. I am really struggling and spend a lot of time in tears. Some days it doesn't rain but pour! hope you are ok.

I am so sorry and feel for anyone caring for someone who is terminal. This is bad enough, with a "good outcome" diagnosis.  My sister lost her husband age 56 and I often wonder how she coped. I agree, it lifts me to know people care and offer help but as you say, in reality you are the one who is coping, 24/7 and thats quite lonely at times. 
glad you're setting time aside for yourself.  X  sending big hugs x

Hi Again CrystalWitch  Im so sorry for what you've been through.  And to read that you suffered through your parents illnesses too. Its amazing how much us humans can put up with without cracking! 
my husbands treatment will be for 5 weeks, starting next Monday, 15/5/23  he has started losing blood pressure in the night, I think due to his throat tumour pushing onto his arteries and stopping blood flow.  He's had low BP events (like fainting but not actually fainting) since last October.  Not sure whats causing it and no ones has offered any meds or solution

for it, so its a worry.

People are very kind, offering help etc but as someone else said, you are still dealing with it alone, day to day.

sending hugs..pretty useless I know, but sent with love from one person to another.  A good motto I use is "this too will pass" as everything does eventually.   Big love x

It is hard on your own, day to day.  Im so sorry as we cant but feel for each other in these situations.  

Hi Chicadee

I see this wonderful community has already sparked into life to offer its support to you but I thought I'd throw my own tuppence worth in.

Yes, its perfectly normal to feel tired, After more than 33 months of supporting my husband through his stage 4 brain tumour journey, I'm not too proud to admit that I'm mentally, physically and emotionally exhausted..but we've got to just keep going.

I wrote a blog for MacMillan last year that you might find helpful “I’m fine”: how do you really cope as a carer? - Macmillan Online Community

For no though, take it one day at a time, one step at a time and as a good friend of mine says "it'll pass".

As you've seen this is a safe and supportive space so please reach out here anytime. There's always someone about to listen who gets it, someone to hold your hand and to offer that virtual hug when its needed. You're not alone. We've got you.

It’s always good to talk so please remember that you can also call the Macmillan Support Services on 0808 808 00 00 - most services are open 8am to 8pm, 7 days a week Clicking here to see what is available. This service provides lots of cancer information, emotional support, benefit and financial guidance or just a listening ear.

For now though, I'm sending you a huge virtual hug and lots of positive energy. Stay strong. You are coping so much better than you give yourself credit for. (You'll just need to trust me on that)

love n hugs

Wee Me xx

Hi WeeMe  I just read your lovely message and your blog post about your husband.  I take my hat off to you, and feel for your constant tension/ pressure/worry/frustration and all those other feelings and the some times thoughts that make us feel we must be hard and cruel, but that are totally human.  The 'take out' I get from the carers advice is to take time to yourself and cry when you need to  (I do). I also try to take the best out of every day when I can.  Im lucky to have a very good friend whose been through Cancer twice and she lets me cry when the emotions are overflowing, and even kept the day free in the aftermath of our 'diagnosis appointment' in case I needed her.  She is invaluable to me and of real practical help.

thank you WeeMe for taking the time to write to me, I appreciate it hugely xxx stay strong, and yes, I too say "this will pass".

hugs x

Hi, I'm sorry you have been through a lot. I lost my dad and brother within months of each other. My mum had breast cancer and fought it but now it's come back, time isn't on her side. It's just us at home, my sister has just realised how bad mum is but she has her own family, work and life. As you know cancer is an evil disease it attacks everything, because of COVID we have had to be so careful for so long it's made life so much harder, if that makes sense. x

Thank you, your post about Reflux has helped my mum has been suffering and struggling with swallowing,  we have started Gaviscon which is helping although finding soft food she enjoys is hard. She has never been fussy but now.