Feeling selfish

SeaSail

Very sorry to read that its well spread unfortunately  yes the Minou70 is right financial and health LPAs - power of attorney. and if there is a joint property a "tenants in common" and new wills in place

URGENT that stops the government putting a charge on the property   "tenants in common"  and trust, no a trust at this level is not expensive we had ALL the above done and filed for some £450.00 little cost to protect ourselves but all needs to be done not just the LPA's times four ie financial two health etc two LPA all cost us £400 in total plus filing fee £83 times four

LPA's took at least 4/5 months    all other stuff very important only £450 separate specialists i found just about one month in place and filed.

All The best 

TB123    

I know they cannot say definitively how long someone has but I totally get what you are saying about needing a guideline or a rough idea. I know they dont like to make this prediction, but I honestly think it is so important to have an idea, like you say things need to be sorted out. There are enough case histories for them to make an educated guess. Sending hugs to you x

• Thank you  for your support x
  I keep trying to search on the internet (I know maybe I shouldn’t) to look for predictions but that seems pretty vague too. 
  Sending hugs to you too x thank you 

I’m definitely going to bring this up to him this weekend. 
it’s something we both need to discuss in depth - you are totally right. 

As he’s still burying head in the sand a little about the diagnosis he thinks he will sort things out “soon”. In man’s speak - that’s not being proactive.  I need to push him to sort things for definite. 
Maybe when I go with him for his first chemo on Monday I can bring it up in conversation with the nurse and she/he might point him in the right direction. 

many thanks again for your guidance and support. 
much appreciated TBH123

Thank you so much for your words of support and guidance Pete or Stan
I have taken your advice and bought the book you recommended (and hidden it!)

You are right - it is emotionally exhausting. 

So sorry to hear about your wife. Really truly appreciate your advice from your experiences. 

I will take your advice. Thank you.

Sending big hugs x

SeaSail

when you are ready subject to the rules here i can supply contact details of the legal folk i used as an ex tax accountant  all the best

TB123

In recent weeks, chemo has given my husband a new lease of life - he’s gone from being in imminent danger of respiratory failure to off oxygen going for walks and managing chemo well.  6 weeks ago, we had a prognosis of 3 weeks.  Things can change very quickly. 
I would also agree that discussions about wishes, end of life care and getting affairs in order is emotionally exhausting.  We have much of it in order now and my husband is fed up with MacMillan nurses asking him this every time they visit especially now he’s feeling better. A certain member of his family is the same.  He is not in denial but there is only so much head and heart space for it.  He needs a break and I do wish this relative wouldn’t go on at home annout his ‘symptom management and palliative care’ every time they visit. Sorry, just venting on your thread.

Minou1970

Its a nuisance factor to involve any other person in ones affairs i do not even discuss my long term 20 years of cancer with anyone my wife is ex Royal Surrey specialist histologist  nurse and knows too much and she does not go on about it we just live with it and have got all affairs in order albeit i am now declared free of cancer all banks in joint name for years as on death the banks freeze that sole person account but not a joint tenants in common wills and all LPA's done     

bless you all and hope for the best TBA123

Agreed.  When we were both at our lowest ebb, a dear friend took this relative aside and told them that this conversation, these decisions were between me and my husbands.  I will be eternally grateful to that friend - the relative  still tries, but we are more robust at the moment and able to manage them.  Who knew that managing relatives would be such a drain when you least need it! No need to go over continually once it’s settled.  Get it done and move on and make the most of living.

Hi Minou1970

In 2003 i was diagnosed with prostate cancer and in 2004 after the brachytherapy (seed implantation)  i had a meeting with the private (BUPA) consultant who started pacing his room with the words it has  metastasized after that i went on holiday that year 6 times to Luxor hay i am still here 20 years later i did not sell my spare shoes but felt like it after that meeting  never looked back dont need to talk to anyone at 80 years i must be out of time   had colon cancer two years ago the cancer removed and now nil  so what next  just move on and forget it  been through every scan machine in the hospital so i feel relaxed and do not worry we have the very best consultants here in the South think positive and plan forward as you say make the most of living   all the best TB123