Can't cope

Oh I wouldn’t feed the hospital food to a dog honestly just the smell makes me wretch.   I really hope this guy comes tomorrow and we’ll get something sorted as much as I want her home I’m actually ok about her being in there as long as they’re doing something.   The state she was in the past couple of days would break your heart .  She actually looked in the mirror and said I’ve aged in a short space of time l.  When someone in pain it does that to you as you can see it in their face.  So yesterday i was on the phone to them I said this can’t go on.  The thing is my mum keeps apologising to them I said to her that’s their job is to make you more comfortable!    Oh absolutely of course you’re nervous it wouldn’t be normal if you weren’t it’s goes from one worry to the next.  Since your mum was strong enough to get the biopsy this time it will give them more information and more to go on what they had originally had so can see what they are going do.   Is your mum still eating good? 

Yes I completely agree pain does make everything worse my mum was in so much at first more than she let on but once they sorted the right medication out she was like a different person with no pain she started to get a bit more energy and life back in her face so hopefully they will sort your mam on the right stuff. The older generation to apologize a lot tho don't they bless them they don't want to be a bother they were brought up to be strong and it's hard for them but they are absolutely there for her doing their job she should never not ask for help because right now she needs it. My mum's eating is much better she is actually eating now she did put weight on but she is losing it again now but I'm hoping it's just a set back from having a urine infection then the biopsy so hopefully she can build the weight back up again. I really hope this time they say there is a treatment option something anything other than nothing we can do again but at the same time I'm worried I'm looking for a murical that isn't there we will see Tuesday xxx

I’m just home from hospital and she looked so much  brighter and has eaten so that’s good.   The physio is coming back tomorrow morning so we’ll take it from there.   Oh it’s definitely an old school thing.  They want to soldier on.   That’s good your mum eating and has an appetite.  Yeah when you have an infection it does put you off  eating but she’ll put it back on.  As long as you’re eating and drinking that’s a positive in my book.    I’m praying for you both that there is something they can do anything is better than nothing I feel.   Hope is what we all need.   ️

Hi Darling34. 

I just read your story and it hit home with me so much. My dad has been diagnosed with small cell lung cancer which has spread to his liver and spine. 
we were told yesterday that there is nothing they can do. We were told time is short. 
my dad is staying with us in wales, and watching him decline, right in front of our eyes is heartbreaking. He  has lost so much weight, he has stopped eating, he is sick when he coughs. 

I am lucky in the fact I work in the same building as the lung cancer nurses who advised me yesterday to take time off due to exhaustion. They are going to write to my manager and explain. 

im trying to spend as much time with my dad as I can. I go and have a cuppa with him while he is bed and try and talk to him about things that are happening as if to prepare ourselves for what is coming up. At the same time we do that a memory will flashback of when me and my brother were kids and we then talk about that. We have a laugh and and hour together and I let him have some rest.

I’m trying to prepare myself for when I don’t have him anymore, but like so many others have said I see him and my heart breaks and I break down when I leave the room. 

m it’s so hard not to show my dad that I have been crying but he knows. My dad worries about me and my life and how things have changed. I try to reassure him that everything is ok but he still worries.

I’m sorry I’m not good at advice, but I just wanted to let you know I understand and you aren’t alone even when when it feels like it. 

take care x

Hi there,

I completely understand how you feel. My mum has lung cancer, she had one round of chemo and has decided she can't take anymore. Yesterday we were told it's spread to her brain and that she has weeks to live. I am always looked upon as the strong one in the family but I am crumbling inside. Like your mum, my mum is just amazing in how she's dealing with it. I am caring for her night and day and really just taking each day as it comes. My mum doesn't always want company and wants to be left on her own which I find hard, and it's often hard to know what to say as you can't say ' it's going to be ok'. I can't offer any real words of advice other than cherish each day and remember you're not alone in this horrible cancer journey, so many of us are having to find the the strength to support our nearest and dearest. Take Care. 

Hey darling34

i hope you and your mum are ok?   I’m thinking of you both today and praying it goes well.   Sendings loads of love.  Xx

Hi there thank you for sharing your story and I am so sorry you to are going through this awful thing it helps to know that your not alone and there are other people who think and feel like u do right now it really is awful watching and almost waiting for them to die its a pain I don't think I can ever describe or will ever get over. But your doing the right thing having those special moments with your dad they may be small but they will mean so much more now than they even did before I hope your taking care of your self as well as your dad because it's so hard on you as well and you need to take it easy on your self your doing a brilliant job. Sending you lots of love. X

Hi thank you for sharing your story with me I'm so sorry for what your going through and your brave mum my mum to likes to be alone sometimes I think it's her time to not have to talk and yo process. I find my self talking about the future sometimes and my mum does like she would be init and then I realise that that won't happen it's very hard I think I am the strong one I'm definitely the one who takes control but my mother sees me as a weak child who will fall apart I think but I'm definitely more stronger now than I ever thought I would be. It's the no choice I don't like the nothing at all I can do but accept the cards we have been delt that wrecks me. I have learnt through this process to take one day at a time and to not think to far ahead and try to enjoy the very very small moments that will become memories. I hope your doing ok and taking care of your self as well as your mum. sending you lots of love xx

Hey how are u and your mum doing today is she home from hospital? We had my mum's appointment today and we'll that small glimmer of hope I was holding onto is gone completely I don't know why I bothered trying. Her cancer is pancreatic in the pancreas kidney lung and now liver so I have no choice but to accept it xx 

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