Can't cope

Hey how are you today I hope your a bit more settled today and I hope your mum is processing it a bit more today. My mam gone down for the biopsy this afternoon so fingers crossed it works this time. Xx 

Hi reeb yeah it was defo not  a pleasant day yesterday but onwards today been reading and getting some questions organised for tomorrows appt.   I actually phoned the nurse specialist today as I had a couple of niggles from yesterday that I wanted clarified so she was nice and git that sorted.     How u doing?    Is your mum doing ok?   What has made them offer radiotherapy?    It’s difficult tI decide maybe it would be beneficial to your mum I suppose only she can decide that.       The main thing is thst she is comfortable and pain that is what you want for her and st least in the hospitall she has that there.    I noticed you have mentioned about them moving your mum to a nursing home.  I think if it was my mum I would want her kept in the hospital I wouldn’t want her moved either it’s taking her into another environment to get used to.  She is settled in the ward and she will be well looked after.  ️

Hey yeah a bit more settled today thankfully  now the dust has settled im looking at info and getting ready for tomorrow see what this guy is going say.    At least I’ve managed to eat today.   My mum said to me today  im worried about you I said don’t worry I’ll be fine.   Yest wasn’t a good day but we’ll start again tiday it’s all you can do.    Your mum get on ok this afternoon?  Has she got home? 

Really sorry to hear what you have been through and going through. 

My partners been diagnosed with the same RCC. Kidney cancer that has spread to hos lungs, liver, and pancrease. His investigation has taken almost 3 frustration months. He was such a healthy huge size man who is now skinny as a bone. I know exactly what your going through. My emotions are all over the place too. It's like you don't want to go through this yet we have no choice. We are trapped. 

They say time heals everything xxx

Hey how did it go today did you get some answers hope you both doing ok xx 

Hi, I'm so sorry your going through this as well it's awful my mum was a bigger woman but now is tiny it's not nice seeing them so small having no strength is it. My emotions are very up and down now at first they were awful now I have a bit more control as the weeks have gone on I try not to think ahead as that upsets me most my brain does try but I stop it right in its tracks to not think about the future. I don't know if time heals is as I lost my dad to cancer over 10 years it's still very difficult but it get easier the pain gets easier to control and the world definitely keeps on going and before u know it you have got through 10 years of the pain. Just think about it day by day is my best advice anything else will give u a panic attack so take it slow each day at a time. Also keeping busy helps some days that's just ringing around sorting my mother's pain out which I won't have for one second if she is in pain I'm on top of it it helps me feel in control I think because I can't change the situation no matter how much I wish I could but I can control how she goes through it and it helps being focused. Sending u lots of love xxx 

Hey darling34

Yes it was more positive today thankfully the doctor was lovely and has given mum a pill to take daily to slow down the growth.  Mum told the doctor she didn’t want to know prognosis timescales etc as she said she would just be a mess if she knew she just said if you can give me something then I will be quite happy.  So I’m just going with whatever she wants.   I told the doctor we had bought a wheelchair but he said he doesn’t want her to use it too much snd he wants her to be more mobile.  So certainly feeling brighter than Tuesday that’s for sure.   How things with you and your mum?   Did the biopsy  go well? 

That's wonderful news and I agree no need for a time scale just fight and try and live the best life u can while your fighting. Is it only tablets they are starting or are they going to give any other treatment also how will they know if it's stopped grown regular checks is it? I am glad there were better answer today and hopefully your mum tolerates these tablets ok xx

It’s just a tablet just now he said it should stop the pain with mets in her pelvis but they would maybe look At radiotherapy down the line.  He said he will do a ct scan in 3 months to see how the cancer is looking.   He was so nice  which I thought really helps compared to the doctor we seen on Tuesday who had us in bits.   She said hope for the best but plan for the worst I thought that was a terrible thing to say!   How did yesterday go?   

Yeah I can relate to that to be honest my mum's doctors we seen made me feel like that to like there no literally no hope so I'm glad u seen a better doctor today and they are doing something and 3 months is brilliant gives u a bit of hope which in these situations you need. Yeah it was ok my.mum said it was horrendous she felt everything it sounded so bad bless her but she done it got to wait god knows how long for the results now. I did have to have the district nurses out today because she was in a lot of pain and couldn't take her medication orally so they came out and give them to her in Injection form and that helped a lot with the pain so hopefully a few days she be back feeling a bit better again xx