Can't cope

That’s awful that they couldn’t try something for your mum I really wish they could have.   It’s just the most vile disease I hate it!    Did you think about speaking to someone else a second opinion? 

Yeah it's awful knowing that there is nothing u have no control over it just that's it. I have thought about it I just don't know I feel like I'm getting my mum's hopes up and mine when the biopsy come back as nothing I got my hopes up that they were wrong and I begged them to help her but I was wrong it broke me I just don't want to do that again if I could get one with out my mother being present I think I would. It's a awful thing and it's only now I think I realised just how many people are affected by this to many people why haven't we got a cure by now I don't know. 

I know exactly what you mean about raising hopes. I have already made up my mind that if I’m not happy with what they say then I am going speak to someone else.    When we had our first consultant meeting on dec 14 and they said we thinks it’s lung cancer and not breast cancer that took the feet from me that my mum was now suffering again and not even from the same cancer I thought what the hell is happening I was in a bad way that day as we were leaving the hospital I felt my heart was going break but she turned to me and said I’m glad I’ve started to have a clear out it will save you from doing it all well that was it I burst into tears in the hospital foyer the place was busy but I didn’t care I said to her I will leave no stone unturned and I will keep my word god knows how but I am determined. 

Yes I got the feeling of confusion to like it wasn't all a clear answer so maybe I should have a second opinion. Your mum sounds like mine she made light of the situation as well and I broke down iv broken down a few times Infront of everyone where I would never do before I pushed a nurse over and ran out of the last appointment I said I was sorry they were very kind I just broke down when they said it was nothing they can do. 

Yeah i am the same I try not to cry in front of people I’ve always been like that but no wonder you did the position you were in!    

Hi morning, how are you both today how did yesterday go? X 

Hey how are you?   Yeah it went ok thanks got home late afternoon.  So she’s just going take it easy as her back is very sore.  I think we are going buy a wheelchair as she is finding it harder to walk any distance.  Its these bone mets hate them!!   7-10 days for results then back to the clinic.   Getting used to this waiting malarkey now.    How things with your mum?  Is she eating and drinking ok?    

Hi I'm ok thank you glad that your both ok and that's another thing over and done with just the wait now. My mum just had a wheel chair as well handy if she wants to go out any where. I know in Wales you can ask for a occupational therapist to come out and they can get u a wheel chair or a district nurse you will probably be able to get one from some where in Scotland if you ask the doctor. My mum is surprisingly doing well her pain meds have made a world of difference she's drinking now and eating very small amounts but she's eating she take Creon as well it's called so the goodness from the food actually goes to her body as before it wasn't that's why she lost like 9 stone. Hope your mum gets plenty of rest now and u take things easy as well xx

Hey good to hear you’re both doing ok.  That’s great how the new medication has worked great for your mum and good she’s eating & drinking too.  That’s make such a difference.    Is your mum getting out a but?   That’s a lot of weight to loose was that from when she was diagnosed?   I’m noticing my mum is eating a bit less.   I’m worried about her losing a lot. 

Yes the medication is amazing my mum was sleeping all the time not eating drinking now she's awake yes we went to bingo the other day I couldn't believe it. She can't walk far but I think that due to muscle mass from losing so much wait there is nothing of her. It was a gradual loss over 6 months but because it was gradual it wasnt so easy to notice as it is now because it's in her pancreas everything she eats nothing actually goes to her no nutrition and she doesn't feel like eating full all the time but he's eating very little but it's still better than nothing. The medication has really done the world of good though. I would just encourage your mum to eat little bits and what ever she wants if she wants cake four times a day have it. It's very much a roller coaster tho it plays tricks with your mind because last week I thought I was losing her this week she managed to come to bingo it's very hard to process.