Can't cope

Hi pete

I hope your well today.   I’m sorry to hear your story and wish none of us had to be on here in the first place.  Thank you for your kind words and I can relate to everything you have said here  the constant anxiety and the wondering what’s next?   I find it exhausting but I know I have to keep strong for my lovely mum.    I haven’t read for quite some time now but understand what you mean about escaping into a book as opposed to sitting in front of the tv screen.

 I was spending a lot of time researching about lung cancer also which I have stopped at the moment as I felt it was taking up so much of my energy although I was doing it so I felt well informed before we seen the consultant and also on ways to help my mum best.    

I am going to take a look at headspace app too and see if that’s something that would help.  

thank you

I think just if your aware you can look for early signs and they could test for it I know some people wouldn't want to know but I do. My mum's specialist pancreatic nurse is arranging it it's only a blood test. You should ask your mum's specialist nurse if that's what u want to do as well 

I’m going have a think about it but it has crossed my mind and it worries me.       How are doing today?  Is your mum doing ok?   I have been busy cleaning so that has kept me busy.  

Iv done the same today cleaning I made dinner which takes hours lol but I been busy my mum is good today so much better now no pain but more tired but no pain which is so much better it's crazy how they can change one day to the next I thought it was the end last weekend this weekend totally different. Hope you both are doing as good as u can be today 

Ahh good it is good just to keep busy.  That’s great your mum is doing good she has really picked up from last weekend.   Mum is ok she has actually started to speak a bit more about it and after having me call the family to tell them about our situation she has since went and called them all herself to speak to them so I’m glad she has done that.   We are up in Scotland and the weather is seemingly to change drastically from tomorrow and we are in for snow so that’s my next worry that we can get her to hospital on Wednesday morning as I certainly don’t want it delayed! 

• That is so good that she is finally talking about it excepting it more maybe slowly bless her it's unimaginable to think how you would begin to accept it. That's crazy to think you may not get to the hospital I always think I'd love to go to Scotland for the snow because I'm from Wales and we don't get hardly anything ever but for you up there your probably use to it every year although they have said we may get snow next week but it's normally a small dusting and I wish it was feet tall I love snow. Is your mum staying in hospital over night or will she be home do you know 

Well that’s it I think she is maybe getting her head round it more now god I wish we all didn’t need to tho!!   I don’t mind snow if you don’t need to go out in it but it’s a nuisance when you do.   Aw I’ve never been to wales either.    As long as everything ok we should get her home at tea time.  She is not getting knocked out for her it so she is relieved about that.   I can’t stay tho you hate leaving them in the hospital on their own but I will just get her some magazines. 

That's good she isn't getting put out but it's still definitely going to take it out of her bless her my mum had a biopsy she was awake took it out of her for a good few days did they say how long the results would be I know my.mums biopsy was 10 days and come back blinking inconclusive any way. She's in the best care so she will be fine hopefully she will have a rest after her procedure then can go home. 

Well that’s it because they said it’s a bit more difficult than the lung biopsy she had on 28 December.  I think it’s taking it off the bone they will have to the consultant said poke around a bit more so will be bed rest after it I think.    Yeah thst seems to be standard timescale more waiting tho getting used to it tho.   Why did they come back inconclusive?  Were they not going do more tests then? 

Apparently it's common with pancreatic cancer for the biopsy to not pick up anything so the only other option was to go in deeper for another one but my mum wasn't well enough to have it and the only reason they needed it was for chemo drugs but she wasn't well enough for chemo so there wasn't any point in trying any more unfortunately. The waiting is hard because you want answers now don't you and then when you get the answers it went over my head I didn't take anything in so it's a good idea to take someone with u because I needed to ask for weeks after what exactly was said questions I already asked but I didn't remember asking them