Hi all, my wife has recently been diagnosed with stage 2 breast cancer, it has spread to her spine and hips and we’re hoping that it can be contained for as long as possible. We’ve let our families know but haven’t told our 11 year old son.
My wife had tonsil cancer in 2020, it was a very stressful period as I had to look after him as well as my wife. He really struggled through her treatment as it was a very intense treatment, it was a physical struggle for my wife and Laurie (son) shut himself away. He has behavioural issues which have become worse lately, he cannot regulate emotions. A small thing for you or I becomes screaming rage, or sobbing and hiding.
I need to tell him about my wife’s illness, I don’t want him finding out some other way, but I’m very worried how he’ll take it. How do I do it?
Hi Dan9beaa2
Welcome to our community, I hope you find it both informative and supportive.
I think you are doing the right thing in wanting to bring your son up to date, generally children will know that something is wrong and can come up with some very unusual ideas about cancer if we do not talk about it. There is a guide here Talking to children and teenagers that can be helpful. We also found the book Secret C - straight talking about cancer by Julia Stokes quite useful - you may find a copy in your local library.
With our son we also introduced him to our local Maggies who were very helpful, We also were well supported by his schools since it was likely he might ask some questions there too.
<<hugs>>
Steve
