My husband was diagnosed with stage 3 oesophageal cancer in October last year. He had a very successful round of chemo prior to surgery in March. Unfortunately the surgery wasn't successful and now has been given a prognosis of about 12 months (given that in May). Until recently he has been well but now has increasing symptoms. We're waiting on scan results and oncology appointment at the end of the month.
We had a period of about 6 weeks where he became very angry, verbally aggressive, and whilst we were on holiday it reached the point where he told me he was leaving me. Now he seems to be in a better place but only because he's in denial. He was referred to the hospice but he doesn't want to engage with them and when they asked how his family were feeling he didn't know. We have 3 children 20, 21 and 24 and they are doing remarkably well.
I have now reached the point of exhaustion. I'm waiting for when his mood will change because I'm not sure I can deal with the anger again . I feel very sad and anxious for what the future will hold. How will I cope without him because I love him, we've been together 32 years. I know this is all about me and that makes me feel selfish but I am struggling to cope.
Thanks for reading this long ramble
Hi Louise2404
That all sounds very difficult and I am glad you were able to share on here - not selfish at all.
Something that helped me in the past was doing a living with less stress course. Part of that was learning to live in the day and I was able to dream up things much worse than actually happened - though life does still like to throw us a curveball from time to time.
I was lucky to be well supported by my GP too who was very helpful.
<<hugs>>
Steve
