Exhausted

Janice and I made our wills ages ago and included if we ever had children that her brother would be their guardian if anything happened to us both. When we were discussing things with Michael he asked what would happen if we both died (having seen both of us carted off in ambulances at some point in his life). We were able to say that her brother and his wife would look after him. Helpfully they adopted a son about the same time as Michael was born and so he is quite aware of their experience and that really helped to reassure him.

One twist that sort of helped me at one point was the collapse at Didcot power station where 6 people died - nobody really knows what tomorrow will hold and the best we can do is make sure things are as easy as possible - a will is a great start. For my parents we were really lucky that they set up an lasting power of attorney because it meant we could look after my dad's health and my mum's finances and make sure there last years were as good as they possibly could be.

<<hugs>>

Steve

Dear Juppy,

Hope today finds you a wee bit brighter maybe?? 

Ugh I get it completely. 

All I want to say to people who say the standard "If there's anything I can do let me know" Is say.....

BRING ME FOOD, WALK MY DOGS!

But I don't. Some have decided to hang in there and keep asking and then I eventually say the phrase and ask if they can perhaps put a meal for two aside that I can freeze for when I can bear cooking, whatever. 

I have nothing other than that to say really as this also finds me in a super dark place today. 

Hang in there- spose that's all we can do. One day, on hour, one minute at a time- at times. 

With love,

T.

Today is a dark home... No sleep as my husband is in his not good week after his triple therapy on Tues... We have appt. To see oncologist. He had contrast CT scan to see if treatment has helped. is stage 4 on palliative..... Very much a bottle of pop day.... Think I am going for a walk.... ♀️♀️♀️♀️♀️

Yes I’m better today although in bed all day so far! Your body knows what your mind tries to ignore. I haven’t been afraid to ask when people volunteer to help, but really for me there’s little  they can do.  A friend brought two meals and frankly it made my husband complain more (erg).  The main challenge for me is the emotional turmoil.  One friend invited me for drinks last week and really that was most helpful for me.  I never would have gotten around to inviting her so it was great.

Thank you for your posts.  We had a good few days last week where things almost felt normal.  But this week we are back to our new normal and I realised my husband is trying to be strong for his family.  His way of dealing with he emotional side hasn't been helpful for me nor the kids.  It hasn't really brought us closer together, which is what I was hoping for, but more emotionally distant.  He has shut off emotionally in order to cope with his prognosis.  It is very difficult, but just wanted to say thanks in knowing that I'm not alone in this.  

Hi Silke, my heart goes out to you, especially after reading your post. You have described almost exactly what I'm feeling.

I'm so sorry you have such worries about your future. We are here for you lovely.

Huge hugs to you xxx

Big hugs, MamaT 

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I have also just joined and my husband was diagnosed with incurable oesophageal cancer 3 weeks ago. It's a white knuckle ride and has become a full time round of appointments and consultations which means we are both exhausted and irritated at the smallest thing. We need support and someone to tell us what the new normal is so I am glad I found this support 

I am grateful to read that I’m not the only one, feeling exhausted wearing this I’m okay face is so tiring. We lost our daughter 18 months ago to cancer and my husband is on palliative care no more treatment. He can be moody and sharp and I know he has a right to be , but I’m so worn out with holding it all together. I feel like im living a nightmare . But I’m not alone so sending hugs to you all carers

My husband is so angry at me. mountains out of molehills he resorts to temper tantrums. Ive removed all heavy objects out of his reach as he has a tendency to throw them across the room regardless of the consequence. I feel very lonely