My husband has terminal lung cancer with secondary in spine.He is now very weak,has lost loads of weight and has to wear a neck brace due to the cancer fracturing his neck.He has had some very bad lows,both with pain and mental health.At the moment his pain is relatively controlled and his mood is stable.My problem is me,l am doing all his personal care and everything I can to try to keep him as comfortable and positive as possible.My health is not great and I have always had depression for which I am on medication.I am managing to get out for a few hours once a week and a friend comes to visit him.It is so hard to keep going, I know I will,but I don’t feel like a wife any more, I don’t feel appreciated although I probably am and feel so selfish for thinking I should be appreciated.I should be grateful that it’s not me going through this horrible disease.We have had a lot more help and support than it seems many people do and l am very grateful.I think my main problem is that prior to my husbands diagnosis I cared for my disabled mother who lived with us for four years and I am just worn out.
hi Alice45
Sorry to read about all you have been going through. You are almost certainly right that you are more appreciated than might appear and I do not think you are selfish at all. When I talk about what we are going through I sometimes do get asked how to we cope - my usual response being when were we given a choice.
It is really easy to get burnt out/work out and I hope you manage to find the support you need to make sure you manage as a team,
<<hugs>>
Steve
