I need to vent my frustration. My husband recently suggested we change our meal time routine to suit his needs. I obviously agreed and at short notice, having already done our usual weekly shop I have made sure he has the midday meal he wants and evening meal is more of a snack. We have always had lunch and dinner, now he wants dinner at lunchtime. Anyway, this evening I suggested he help with the weekly shop so he can decide what he would like to eat in the evenings because I don’t know what he would like. He got agitated and started saying he suggested the change in routine, not because as he said, previously was the reason but suddenly it is to help me…instead of cooking an evening meal I could do it at lunchtime and just prepare a light meal in the evening. He went on and on about how he tries to help me and that he suspected I got frustrated this evening because I have an appointment tin the morning.
I explained that I was only asking for his help with food ideas and if I was worried about my appointment it is because he makes it so hard for me to go anywhere. We had an almighty argument with me telling him all about my recent and on going health issues, which I had not talked to him about before as he panics at the slightest hint of me being unwell. He starts saying I am mentally ill if I have even a cold.
The upshot was I text his children to say we’d had an appalling argument and he might appreciate their support.one daughter is busy with her own daughter who isn’t well, fair enough. The other daughter is busy running her husband’s business and buying holiday homes in Spain and the son is just too far away and too busy with his job to offer help. He suggested my husband lets me go out more often without complaining or phoning me to come home asap.
I really don’t know where we go from here.
My empathy for my husband is dwindling from me….this whole awful situation has gone on for years and I don’t know how much longer I can handle it. The medication, the personal care in between the carers we have to pay for, the daily medical issues, my husband’s emotional and mental health and all this on top of the bedding that needs washing every day, the house cleaning, the food buying and preparing and the dog to walk, feed and look after. I really do need to know when all this will end…i getting tired and older and just need a nights sleep and wake in the morning peacefully with no demands to be anything but a normal human being.
