Is this it?

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My husband is becoming frailer by the day, eats little, sleeps a lot and I don’t know how to make it easier for him. He’s 69, diagnosed December 2018, colorectal, now stage 4, mets to liver, lungs and by now, who knows. We get the results of his scan this morning but I know it’ll be more bad news.

Strangely, I am quite calm, unable to sleep but it’s so important to me to say and do the right things to make it easier for him. Our daughter and 5 year old granddaughter live with us, I worry particularly how the little one will cope. I’m sure when it’s all over, I’ll probably fall apart but for now, I am ok, I’ll have plenty of time later for tears.

What to do, what to say, I’m not even sure why I’m posting, somethings are so hard to explain or find the words for, maybe just writing something down, will help me. I’ll soon find out.

panic over 3 years ago

G'day budge 13,

When my late wife was on her bell lap, I was worried how our 4 grandchildren would cope once their Curly Nanny was gone.

As expected, they were upset. They cried, they fretted, they became very VERY clingy, they became overly sensitive to just about anything.

And then they calmed. They remembered. They still loved.

In the end, the kids coped well, much better than the adults and certainly better than I.

When I was having a bit of a meltdown shortly after Marg's passing, my youngest granddaughter, Vanessa asked me why I was crying. I told her I missed Nanny. She asked, "Do you still remember her?" and I said, "Of course". She asked, "Do you still love her?" and I said, "Of course". She asked, "Will you forget her?" and I said, "Never".

She said, "Well, that's OK then. Have a cry and then come and play with us".

Would that we have the wisdom of children.

She will be OK. As will you.

Peace,
Ewen :-)

The day after your carers journey ends, the sun will still rise.

As will you.

budge13 over 3 years ago in reply to panic

Hi, thanks for sharing, I won’t lie, your words brought some tears.

Children are so amazing, they look at life so simply. I hope you’re right, I’ll find out before too long but I’ll share what your granddaughter, Vanessa said, to my daughter, it may help her.

Thank you

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