I’m having a tough time with my husband.
Just over a year ago he was diagnosed with terminal cancer. We felt at the time we would have months but he’s been lucky that the treatments they have tried have helped to prolong his life. We aren’t sure how long for though. His original prognosis was less than a year so it now feels like we’re living on borrowed time.
The trouble I’m having is that he is so moody. He won’t ask for help, call a doctor if he’s suffering, he shouts at the kids all the time and tells them the stress they cause him is killing him faster. They are only 2 and 3years old. He sits on the sofa all day long, he might walk the dog twice a week but he doesn’t join us on days out, visits to my parents etc. He has his family come over every few days and he makes a real effort to talk to his older children.
I feel like because we’re here all the time with him he doesn’t feel he needs to make an effort. He tries to help out but he says he can’t because he’s tired or in pain. Yet when he’s asked about pain by medical staff he says it’s fine and it’s manageable. I’ve tried to not do things for him to keep his independence, but it feels like he isn’t trying anymore. He makes no effort to stay up with me in evenings and goes to watch Tv in bed. He doesn’t eat with me. He doesn’t listen to the kids bedtime stories or come to watch me bath them. It’s like he’s signed out of the family.
is this depression? I’ve tried to ask him and he just replies I’m dying so yeah I probably am. When I say see a GP he says no he takes enough medication and he is fine. I’m spending all my time running around after the kids that I can’t run around after him too and it’s thrown in my face that I don’t care about him and I’ve never looked after him. Am I being too heartless & selfish? I can’t possibly understand how he feels. I’m so out of my depth.
