Living with your partners cancer

Hi - glad you have found others comments helpful, perhaps the message is just how normal we all are.

Love/care it is such a challenge and of course we ask why them or why not me instead - but that is not to be. Learning to live with what is when our other half seems to be coping so well is really hard.

One thing I learnt was then when my wife wants to discuss things that it does not mean she wants me to fix things - because she is just working things out with me - perhaps that is a key thing in becoming a marriage guidance counsellor now.

What really turned me around was a living with less stress course - helped me to learn to appreciate each day and how to deal with the unexpected and recognizing there are many things I cannot change.

<<hugs>>

Steve

Hi smosie. My husbands cancer is now terminal, he has been given a median life expectancy of 9 month. He carries on as if it isn't happening, doesn't talk about it. I am in bits inside whilst trying to appear normal on the outside. I sometimes go to the bathroom and cry. It's so hard isn't it. My emotions are all over and I'm scared of what's going to happen. Some days you cope others not so much. I guess it's just taking it one day at a time.

Sending love

Jj

Hi JJ. It sounds like your situation is similar to mine, I really feel like sometimes I need to talk to him, just to see how he's feeling, he only says he's angry but there's nothing you can do to change it, and that's it conversation over. If I probe a step to far he gets angry with me which ends up with me hiding away in tears somewhere, I know he's struggling because he is always snappy and has no patience, it's so so hard watching from the outside when they don't let you in.

Love smosie

Hi. My husband is other way. Its like he's accepted what is going to happen, he just carries on like everything is OK. He doesn't talk much about it but if I try talk about anything he just shrugs. Really hard to know what to say or how much to say. It's obviously his way of coping. I talk to my sister and don't hold anything back I can say what I like n she just listens which is a big help, can get it off my chest. It's awful though to go through this, lots of worry and stress. Its first thing I think about when I wake up n last thing on my mind when I go to bed. It's exhausting isn't it.

Love

Jj