We aren’t trained to do this!

  • 1 reply
  • 29 subscribers
  • 13 views

I’m helping to care for my brother who has stage 4 cancer. We don’t know how long we have with him but we are trying to do our best to care for him at home whilst work full time and look after his 2 young teenagers. 

We are literally going day by day (and night) trying to care for him but it all feels reactive and that we are on the back foot with getting in place things he needs.


The hospice team have been great when we contact them, but I don’t know how long we can sustain this for, we are already exhausted trying to keep all the plates in the air! We just aren’t trained to do this! 

I feel lost in this all. Can anyone relate? 

  • Hi AgathaM , 

    I can empathise with you. My husband was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer and lots of other complications just over a year ago. Because Doctors couldn’t predict how long he will live we are left to manage the situation. We pay for carers to come in to do personal care, my husband cannot walk, is doubly incompetent and in lots of pain. Our hospice is great for advice but don’t actually provide any help. Our GP is too busy and community nurses aren’t very clued up…they are great for specific tasks but not so good and day to day management of patients in their own homes. All of this places a huge burden on me, none of which I have any idea about. Community resources are so stretched I am left floundering….

    this group is amazing for giving support and helping with information. xx