Emotional rollercoaster nightmare

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Husband is in hospital - can’t see him and he’s in too much pain to reply to messages or even talk to me. He has never been like this before and today has been so incredibly hard. Trying to keep a smile on my face for my stepdaughter, so she’s ok. Even though she’s 22, she’s struggling. It was all I could do to physically move today. These feelings are just paralysing. Will I ever wrap my head around what is happening and get my feelings in control or is this what it’s like - a constant daily rollercoaster and you never know when and how the ride will end. The way I feel at the moment, I just want to go with him if he doesn’t make it through this. Have never thought that before. Know it’s because I’m just sick of this endless grief for something that hasn’t even happened yet. It’s eating me up inside and I just wish I knew how to control it and contain it when it creeps up on me. Deep breaths - and rant over! X

dancer2509 over 3 years ago

Been there and all I can say is try and find some time to walk, breath, read, zone out whatever. I am very structured about it even a half hour every day gets me some benefit. I am lucky with a great friendship group but this is a very lonely time and there is only so much you can share. you need to find something to give you strength. You will get through this x

MelanieL over 3 years ago

Hi Bim07,

I am so sorry to hear that your husband is in hospital at the moment and of course due to COVID rules and restrictions you can't go and see him and he is in too much pain to talk to you. This is so incredibly hard. I am so very sorry. Did you get any news from the hospital today? How has your day gone so far? I hope the sun is shining where you are and that perhaps you are able to go outside for a little while, just for a breath of fresh air, I know it all probably feels like too much right now but you have to try and look after yourself too.

Love Mel

I don't like the term "moving on" because it sounds to me like we are leaving our loved ones and the life we had with them behind. I like the term "moving forward" as it implies that, while life goes on, our loved ones are still with us in our hearts and minds.

Wee Me over 3 years ago

Oh I'm so sorry to hear things have take a wee downward turn. Sending healing love and light and hugs.

As you say, deep breaths. One step at a time. Seeing them in pain is heartbreaking.

Stay strong.

love n hugs

Wee Me xx

Macmillan Support Line - 0808 808 00 00, 7 days a week between 8am-8pm

Jessie732 over 3 years ago

It’s the hardest journey of all. I dip in and out of this support group as some days I like to pretend I have a normal life but it doesn’t last long. Try and remember to breathe slowly and try and be calm when you can. Grieving for something that hasnt happened yet is a good way to describe how we all feel. The dark nights are long and quiet be kind to yourself xxx

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Emotional rollercoaster nightmare