I posted on here a couple of months ago when my lovely mum first got her diagnosis of cancer. At that point, it was unknown primary. We have since had a diagnosis of primary appendix cancer, with spreading to the abdominal cavity including peritoneum.
She is currently in hospital having had a stent and a nephrostomy, and a drain for the ascities that seems to be increasing by the minute. They have scanned her again this morning and are currently discussing the next step. We were hoping to begin chemo on Friday but now I'm terrified that they will say she's too unwell for that.
I just can't cope with the ups and downs, it feels like there is a plan in place and then the whole thing gets changed.
Feeling desperate
I feel very similar to you and this sounds similar in a way to my husband. What I can say is that I did get used to the constant ups and downs, and each time it took me a tiny bit less long to recover from the blows and that did help.
It really is an emotional roller coaster. I’m so sorry for what you are going through, but you absolutely aren’t alone. I have spent the last 10 months feeling almost totally numb - like everything isn’t real.
Sending a big hug
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