My mum doesn’t have long to live and I’m struggling

Hi all,

I guess the first thing I want to say is I never in a million years.thought I’d be writing on this site

My 69 year old mum got diagnosed with lung cancer 8cm tumour just 2 weeks ago. We’ve been told that treatment is not an option. We said we didn’t want a prognosis and would simply take each day as it comes but the community nurse left a folder at the house which my dad asked me to look at. Unfortunately whilst reading through it I saw a copy of a letter to my mums GP which says they do not expect her to live longer than 6 weeks. I haven’t told my mum or dad. My mum seems to be getting more tired as the days go on and is really struggling with her mobility. I have ended up being her main carer and am also trying to juggle a full time job, a family life and animals (horses).

i am really struggling with my feelings and feel sick to my stomach everyday as I’m just watching her die which also feels like it’s dragging out and complete torture. I love my mum so much but for the love of god, this is such a cruel punishment for all.

I’m exhausted and still trying to get a care package. She’s having to wear pull up pants and I’m having to clean her after the toilet which in the most unselfish way ever is just making me sick to my stomach. 

How do people get through this? Please someone tell me they feel the same as I’m going out of my mind trying to stay strong and hold the family together.