Help providing care for terminal mum

Hi swirlyvibes, firstly just sending big hugs to you.  This journey is so very hard and although maybe I don’t have magic answers for you I just wanted to reach out and let you know that you aren’t alone. 
my mum has terminal leukaemia. She was diagnosed almost a year ago and the ups and the downs are horrific. I feel almost bi-polar some days as one moment I’m able to focus on the good bits before worrying about the bad  

i hope you have some support for yourself and that you are managing with your family and work etc. Xx

Sending you big hugs.

Just knowing people are out there in the same position feeling the same feelings helps so much. Thankyou for reaching out to me and offering your support. 

Hi , the Breast Cancer group is very active. You might find someone can come up with some suggestions. I understand your nervousness when it comes to time for medication, but you're not being selfish. Carers go through a lot too and burn out is all too common, so remember to be kind to you too. One of our members suggested rubbing your arms and giving yourself a hug. She said it's very calming and I've been trying it; if nothing else it makes me giggle.

Big hugs, LoobyLou

Hi Swirlyvibes.. 

It's my first time on here, and I'm really glad I've checked it out now, as like you said - just knowing there are other people out there in similar situations, going through similar emotions, is really reassuring!

I am also caring for my terminal Mother, who was recently told she has weeks to live. I can relate exactly to "damned if i do, damned if I don't". It's difficult, as I can see how much she has changed, not just on the outside, but the inside too.. The illness has really taken over her in a very short space of time.

I have absolute feelings of hopelessness too on the bad days - but my Mum has told me that it's such a help having me here, so even if you don't feel that yourself, know that the simple, little, seemingly insignificant tasks do make a difference and are appreciated. And know that she probably feels guilty or bad that you are having to care for her, so sometimes that can come out in unexpected ways too. 

I've also learnt to bite my tongue a lot haha!

It is a very confusing time for all - but don't take any moodiness personally please - swallow it down and vent to others if needs be - I know my mum doesn't mean a lot of the things she is saying to me at the moment, so I just remind her that her best interests are in my heart, and sometimes I get an apology, sometimes I don't - and that's okay.. I know there is a lot of anger and distress inside of her - that needs an outlet too.. I feel I would be exactly the same in her shoes, if not worse! So I put on my big suit of armour and try not to let it penetrate. 

Also can I just say - if you ever feel yourself welling up in sadness, or pain, or frustration - let those tears come - our tears carry our emotional hormones & toxins out of our bodies, and so it's really important we allow that process to happen...

I think I will write a blog post out myself as I too am interested in hearing from those in like-situations.. Keep an eye out for it if you fancy! 

All the best - you are doing everything you can for your mum and should be proud of that.. Be sure to take care of yourself too - big hugs xxx

Thankyou so much, this really helped! Im slowly growing tougher skin little by little which is helping. 

Big hugs xx