Looking after a loved one

Hi

 Oh, I know this one so well. I have an imagination Hammer Horror Films would love to own. My husband has prostate cancer and, after a prostatectomy and 33 sessions of radiotherapy he still has to have more treatment. My mind is a self torture instrument. I try to think of it as making myself suffer twice so try to switch off, but it's not easy. I'm paging as he's been through it all and might be able to help. Please do talk to us whenever you need to, sorry it took me so long to get back to you, I've been having timeout while my husband is not so good.

Thinking of you,

Hi Sprocker,

Sorry you find yourself in this horrible situation and yes I am in exactly the same boat.

My wife was diagnosed back in January with stage iv womb cancer so I have had more time to come to terms with the situation than yourself but it is a huge stress trying to stay strong.

I find the best way to cope is to do my very best for my wife in terms of care and support but try to put any spare few minutes aside to a hobby - just to take your mind off things for a while. Also speaking to friends or family regularly to get your thoughts and feelings heard helps a lot. Posting on here also.

Stay strong and best wishes.

Thanks for taking the time to get back to me .hope this fi ds you and family as well as can be expected  regards

Hi ,

I well remember those days, I managed for a while but then finally when I needed help I walked in to my local Maggies and brain dumped for over a hour accompanied by lots of sobbing and a box of tissues.

Later I did a living with less stress course - the living in the here and now bit really helped me to appreciate what we have rather than the horror story I was writing. The conscious breathing exercises are great for helping me relax and when something else comes along totally out of the blue. Transcendental meditation though did not really work for me, I think I am a little too literal at times.

In so many ways the early days following diagnosis are the worst, my wife and I have been lucky - her cancer is stable and we have now been living with cancer for over 6 years. A number of our friends here though have had something of an emotional knock back when they got their shielding letter as they were really feeling quite normal.

Keep talking, on here if that works for you but if you need something more instant and to hear a voice you can always ring the helpline too.

<<hugs>>

Steve 

Thanks Steve for having the time to message me ,its mutch  appreciated regards Derek