I can’t cope with the thought of losing my husband

It must be awful for you being so isolated having to face this on your own. Contact Macmillan to see if there are any carers group meetings near where you live. Also if there's a hospice close by they also run groups for carers & patients. They would be great for you to meet others in the same situation as yourself. Just stepping foot into these meetings can be difficult but you will be made to feel welcome. Just having & brew & a chat with someone will help.Maybe join a club in your local library..They often run reading groups, knit & natters etc if you can get out for an hour or two. I run a knit & natter group in the library where I work ( not much knitting gets done though). We have @ least 2 cancer survivors & I lost my husband 6 weeks ago due to Oesophageal cancer 3 months after diagnosis. Even though I've been off work I've still popped in when the ladies are in & they've been so supportive towards me. They cant wait for me to return to work. 1 of the ladies husband died very suddenly just before my husband died  & She came back to the group soon after his funeral as she missed everyone so much & she said just those couple of hours helped to take her mind off things & just to get out of the house made her feel better.

Thank you.  I’ll do that. I’m so sorry for your loss. x

Thank you. I'm getting there. Still have moments where like you I cant stop crying. When I pop into work the other staff are on standby with hugs & the readers always ask how I'm doing. It has been difficult sometimes when people havent heard that hubby has passed away & they ask how he is. I know I'll probably get this for awhile yet. I try & get out & about as often as I can.Just a walk in the fresh air calms me.

Hi suziboo, its devastating when you get this and not knowing how long youve got together and how it will all unfold. In my case once my husbands cancer ( a rare sarcoma) had spread he was given 12-18 months, possibly more with treatment. By the time he had gone through 2 rounds of failed chemo and was signed off by the oncologist with the " nothing more we can do" conversation he was given 3 to 6 months, he got 3. Your whole world collapses as you watch the one you love go downhill bit by bit whilst taking on the role of carer.

As detty said, please reach out to whatever is available in your area, carer group, hospice, ours was amazing and is still supporting me. Find out what palluative care your dr surgery offers and make sure they know you are a carer. 

Macmillan can help you with making sure youre getting any financial support eg attendance allowance. There isnt a macmillan centre in my area but there might be in yours.

And do come here to talk or vent, many of us have been through this, many of us have now moved more to the bereaved forums, but we still remember the end of life journey.

Virtual hugs coming.