Palliative Care

FormerMember over 5 years ago

1 reply
37 subscribers
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My husband has just been set up with a palliative care package and I feel overwhelmed. A hospital bed has been ordered along with a commode. He was diagnosed with lung cancer back in 2012 and after a course of radiotherapy has done pretty well. He has been going downhill over the past six months and presented with anaemia. He was admitted to hospital 10 days ago with breathing difficulties and they decided to do a CT CAP scan. This showed a new malignancy in his lung which has spread to his sacrum. He is 74 and his general health is not very good. He has been sent home and today the district nurses came and did an assessment and came up with the palliative care plan. I knew it was serious but this has really thrown me as everything is happening too fast. I am disabled with very poor mobility and I am frightened that I am not going to be able to cope. He is now very confused at times and I wonder if the cancer has spread to his brain. Sorry about the long post but I am unable to sleep with all the worry. I would love to hear how others have dealt with a similar situation.

LoobyLou49 over 5 years ago

Hi , I'm sorry to read how poorly your husband is. Such a rapid change is bound to leave you in shock and it can take a while to get your head round things. It might help to look at the emotional effects of caring so at least you'll know your reaction is normal. As you say it's 'happening too fast' for you to be able to process the information. It's good that an assessment plan has been done. I'd suggest, if you haven't already, to get your name onto the GP carers' register, a lot more support will open up for you then. Also ask for your husband to be referred to the local hospice; once he's referred you can phone them for advice and support and they can offer support in the home too. It's easy to understand that you are worried about coping yourself, with your own mobility issues. At the moment Carers Needs Assessments are on hold in many areas but you are legally entitled to an assessment by the council for your own needs. Use the link to find out how to get help to organise it.

I found that writing everything down, including my own feelings, helped me to process what was going on and to feel more in control. It does seem strange that you were not given any more information from the hospital so perhaps write down everything you'd like to know and ask the nurses and your husband's GP so that you will know whether they did discover a possible spread to the brain and if not, what might be causing his confusion. Do please let me know how you get on.

Love and hugs,

LoobyLou
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