Emotions

Emotions will be running high at the moment .It's still early days and everyone is still coming to terms with it .Nobody can prepare you for it and its best to just take it a day at a time .Bill my husband has had oesphageal cancer too in his case it went to the brain .He was first diagnosed in Feb 2016 and although he isnt so good now he is still here .You may have longer that you think its quite often a marathon not a sprint .You should take your friend up on her offer you need a support system and you can say what you think to friends .The pandemic dosent help the normal resources are a bit more difficult to access .However this online community are always here  for you and the helpline is available to answer questions worries and fears .A cancer diagnosis involves the whole family you are not a burden its better to be honest with your children about how you feel you are only human As for your husband he is dealing with it as best he can he will need you in the days to come but probably needs some space at the moment .Men often find it hard to say how they really feel you need to help yourself come to terms with it then you will find the strength to deal with it .And you will be able to cope with it we will support you whenever you need it .Take care lots of hugs x

Hi and a warm welcome to our online community and to Carers. My husband also has prostate cancer and, while there is no cure I know that, although it is aggressive, it's under control. As Granny Sue says, it's early days and it takes a while for the shock to settle into a new normal. Things will be clearer when you get the results of the scan but the waiting is always worrying. Our menfolk do tend to shut off when they're so stressed, but that will likely settle too.You can do things like making him a cuppa, or a special meal if he feels like eating; those little things that let them know we care. Have a look at this page which explains the emotional effects of caring, it can help to get some insight and to know that you are not alone. Getting support for yourself is essential, so call the helpline on 0808 808 0000 and chat to one of our experts; it's open 8am to 8pm every day. It's also important to contact your GP and get onto the practise carers register as it will open up other support for yourself which, as any carer will tell you, is essential. It's also important to let your GP know how this is impacting on your mental health; believe me there are so many of us who have been where you are now.

You might also like to look at this page which provides a wealth of information for carers and feel free to join the supporting someone with incurable cancer group; it's a whole different view of life. Hang in there, you will get through this and we will support you as best we can.

Love and hugs,

Oh Granny Sue thank you. You have helped me so much. Thank you for your kind and wise words. Take care hugs to you and Bill too xxx 

Thank you Looby Lou. I know you are right. Thank you for the advice re the GP too, very helpful.  Sending hugs your way x