Feeling lost

Hi , you vent away, sounds like you've got a lot on your plate. While it's easy to understand your son going to his dad's to get away from the stress, it leaves you with a heavier load to carry. Have you tried venting in The Room as well? It's worth spreading it around to get more release. If it wouldn't make things worse, could you Skype with friends (thinking of your work)? 

Hugs,

Hi Sim10,

My husband is doing my head in too. Sometimes I just want to throttle him, then I feel bad because he's the one who is dying. Then I feel cross because I can't excuse him being a dick because he's ill. Then I chastise myself for not being sympathetic and caring enough... on it goes.

Being stuck in together while shielding is very testing. 

Vent away.

Good to get it out! My husband passed away 21 March but I very much remember last year when he was ill then after an operation receiving chemo and he was very challenging! Having somewhere to vent safely was very important stay strong and take care xx

My partner has been given this diagnosis today. Im scared. How old is your husband if you dont mind me asking?

Im sure he is going to regularly drive me crazy and i may well be in the same position as you trying not to strangle him myself haha

I hope you are all ok though, im sure he loves and appreciates you xx

Hi Linds,

He was 54 when diagnosed, he's just turned 56. He does drive me nuts but I do also know he loves and appreciates me.

How old is your husband?

Mine has advanced kidney cancer, huge tumour (2 tennis balls at the beginning of treatment), as well as spreading to his arm, pancreas, 2 lymph nodes, thyroid and adrenal glands. He's on palliative treatment. So far, after 11 six week cycles and an operation to replace the eaten bone in his arm, he's doing well, better than we could have hoped. He's on sutent and it's been working wonders so far (fingers crossed, touch wood). 

Hope you are both doing well,

Sue x

Hi Chelseadog,

I agree entirely. I have been in touch with cancer care and was due to begin some counselling sessions when covid 19 hit.

It's hard being with his illness 24/7.

Vent, vent, vent.

Sue x

Hey thanks for replying, 

He is 35 next month and i am 32, we have a 13yr old daughter at home too. We literaly had our diagnosis at 5pm yesterday so technical terms etc have somewhat escaped me for now but im sure ill wrap my head around them soon. He has a pet scan tomorrow to assess how much of it we are dealing with. All very daunting isnt it! And in the middle of a pandemic.... My anxiety is through the roof to say the least!

But we will be ok, 

Lindsay x

Hi Lindsay,

I remember feeling lost, numb, angry, upset, strangely grief. Trying to take everything in, ask the right questions, not knowing what the right questions to ask are, looking positive on the outside but not feeling it on the inside.

So many things to add into what you should be doing and how you should be feeling.

Have courage, trust the experts, concentrate on what you can still do not what you can't. My husband believes that, even with a terminal prognosis, he is living with not dying from cancer. 

Good luck with the test, we have our next results on Monday, it's never easy.

Sue x