Feeling lost and abandoned

Hello Shell87

I'm so sorry that this is happening to you and your loved ones.  My heart goes out to you.  Not so long ago I was in a similar situation, trying to figure out what to do for the best, and how the system works.  For those of us who aren't medically trained, and who are already trying to deal with the stress and emotional impact of what is happening, it can feel almost overwhelming.  A District Nurse gave me a good piece of advice, she told me: You aren't medically trained and you aren't expected to be medically trained. If something seems to be going wrong (pain, delirium, infection getting worse or whatever) even if you aren't sure then call an ambulance.  The paramedic team will assess the situation. That's what they are for.

Do post any time.  We are all here for each other.

Hi and a warm welcome to Carers, although I'm sorry to hear about your dad and the frightening prognosis. 111 is so overloaded at the moment thanks to the coronavirus, but 5 hours is a worryingly long wait. I'd echo what Dunlin said and call an ambulance if it happens again and you have no luck with 111. The people in the system care, but the system is overloaded. One thing I would say is, next time he goes in hospital, get any care and support you need arranged by them while he's still in hospital, once he's out there's nothing they can do (but if you don't know that it's more frustration).

If your dad hasn't already been referred to the local hospice, I'd suggest you ask his GP to refer him a.s.a.p. as they can do so much to help in the home and, once you're in the system, so much more support opens up. Once he's referred, for instance, you can call them for advice; but he has to be referred first. Another thing is PALS (Patient Advice and Liaison Service), they like it if you contact them before things get bad so they can step in and help. They're usually near the hospital entrance and are very caring and helpful. Also, be sure to let your GP know that you're a carer and get your name on the GP carers' register; again, more help will be available. Look after you too; I know it's easier said than done, but it's so important.

Hugs,

Thank you for the replys I must admit I was so highly strung when I posted earlier. 

I fully understand the system is overloaded what with the Corona virus, they can only do so much.

I'm upset that the doctors surgery took 8 calls not just by me and mum but our McMillan nurse and the local hospice to just get a call back 8 hours after the first call. 

We have been told we don't come under the local hospice just GP and district nurse. They are coming out to see dad tonight.

Thank you for letting me know about PALS, I didn't know it existed. 

I don't live near mum and dad(3.5 hours away), but I am staying to support them both so not sure if letting my GP know would do anything. 

We're trying to make sure we are taking care of ourselves but sometimes it goes out the window. We have done better today though, made a conscious effort to eat shower etc. 

Last few days have just been a whirlwind. 

Hi , 8 hours is a very long time to wait, I'd have been upset too. I hope things settle a little soon.

Thinking of you,