Ashamed

Hi there, I sometimes pop back into this group even though I am now bereaved. Trust me if I tell you you've done nothing others haven't done, thought or felt. I used to feel guilty that I didn't have cancer, that I had to distance myself a little  as I couldn't bear to take on board how awful he must feel. We said some cruel things to each other in the heat of the moment. Cancer is a thief that robs us of our health, life as we know it and our hopes and   future plans. You have every right to feel hurt and angry,  sometimes this  surfaces when we don't want it to. We get through it by finding strength we didn't know we had, because we love each other. Our relationships are a lot stronger than these thoughts. Be kind to yourself, look after yourself. You love each other  xx

Thank you so much for this. I feel like the worse person on the planet and then even guilty for saying that as it shouldn’t be about me. Just thank you for responding. It has already helped and I will temper your words. Cxx

Remember not temper!

Hi, you need to change your user name as you should certainly NOT be Ashamed ....you are being as supportive as you possible can in such difficult circumstances - please do not feel bad about yourself. I know how these things can eat away at you...it's happening to me as my wife has a terminal diagnosis and she is the most amazing person I ever met in my life ...I can't bear the thought of her not being here but putting a few words down on the site does seem to help. Take care and be kind to yourself - you deserve it. 

Hi 

Totally agree with   The feeling of guilt is something that affects most carers at times but you should never feel ashamed.

If, on reflection you would like to change your username just send an email by clicking this link mailto:community@macmillan.org.uk and suggest a more suitable name for Admin to change it to 

Hugs, G n' J