Emotional support

Hi,

Sorry to hear about your situation.

Im dealing with my only parent left being terminal on my own and no family to help...my mum died suddenly of lung cancer when I was young and it’s happening again. 
I can relate to your feelings of losing a grip of your emotions. I have developed crippling anxiety, I’ve given up my teaching career, struggling to pay bills to be a carer and I’ve looked after dad for 10 years since mum died. I’m basically not me anymore.

My emotions are all over the place and I fight everyday to be strong for dad and my relationship with my partner and friends is suffering badly.

Can you go back to what helped you through when you had depression? I’ve started CBT again and although I feel it’s not doing much, just helping myself is helping. I’m also on beta blockers which are helping. You could try and get in touch with cares groups or your local Maggies center? I know your probably strapped for time but doing some self care each day even if it’s just a 10 minute something for you might help? It’s so easy to forget what you need to be a functioning human being and it’s so important to look after yourself so you can give back, even though it’s easier said than done.

Keep going your doing amazing even if you don’t know it Xx

Hi and welcome to Carers. You've got a lot on your plate and getting support for yourself is essential. As his full time carer it would be a good idea, if you haven't already, to register as a carer with your GP surgery as it opens up other forms of support. Local groups, as lancslass41 mentioned can be found here and Maggies Centres run courses to help coping with the stress of being a carer. Do call your GP so help can be put in place now. Do you have any groups to go to, like yoga, craft groups or something to get out to for a break? Something as simple as standing outside and breathing in the air, looking at the sky (if it's not raining!), trees and birds, just to take your focus somewhere else. But right now I would urge you to make that phone call to your GP, and talk to us, we're here for you.

Love and hugs,

Thankyou for your reply. Thankyou for all your support and advice. I will be phoning the doctors today and will take a look at the support groups you have mentioned x

Hi thankyou for your reply and information. I am sorry to hear about your situation and wish you all the love and support at this hard time. I can completely relate to the struggle you face day to day and I always felt like I was on my own. 

I will be phoning the doctors today and will be looking into support classes and self help techniques as I no I cant go one like this anymore. 

It sounds like you have a lot to cope with and that you are doing amazing tho it all. 

Thankyou so much for your kind words. 

Xxx

Thanks so much!

Also I forgot to mention there’s a really good app (if your into them) called CALM. It talks you through meditation exercises, sleep stories, calming sounds and emergency breathing for when you need it most. It’s really helped me through some tough spots when I’m really anxious or can’t sleep /switch off.

Good luck with the doctors and let us know how your getting on xxx 

Hello,
I’m in a similar  situation to you in so much as I’m my hubby’s carer. We are older than you and his cancer is incurable BUT I do know what you are feeling.

At the end of December I actually felt myself breaking down and my depression was threatening to take over so I gathered the last bit of strength and rang Social Care Direct, our specialist nurse, the local hospice, Carers UK, Macmillan, adaptations at the local council etc etc. I asked for help and now it’s all coming. Everyone has been amazing. 

My point I guess is that I had to go against my usual thinking - that I could cope and accept that I couldn’t. My hubby was supportive and has grown used to his daily routine  of at least one person turning up to check his diet, clean the windows, to clean the car, paint the kitchen, fit a raised toilet seat, help him to do his physio etc etc etc. You get the picture I’m sure.

My depression was threatening our wellbeing. I’m back to collecting our 8 and 10 year old family members from school once a week, today I’m going for a hair do, I went for a walk at a local estate with my dog, I’ve bought two new books to read and I’m working towards going for some new clothes next week.

Ask anyone and everyone for help my love, accept all help offered and take care of yourself. You’ve got this and before long the sun will shine for you again. I have always remembered something I was stood many years ago which is  act or adapt. I’ve acted and now I’m adapting - you can too. Enjoy those lovely children , give your hubby a cuddle and breathe. 

I send you much love and a big virtual hug. 

June x