It's all about The Cancer!

.......... and where the hell did all those emojis come from !! ?

Hi elephant222,

I see what you mean about the emojis. Interestingly, when I hit 'reply' the emojis disappear?! I completely understand what you mean. Don't feel bad about saying it, even in the future; you're normal and we all get sick of it sometimes. I find myself getting short of patience when every little pain or ache is put down to cancer. If I suggest it might be something else it doesn't go down well and I wonder if, in future, I will remember that sometimes I just wanted a day away from it, and that it's ok to feel like that.

Love and hugs,

Thank you LoobyLou. Feeling better today x

I hear you Elephant 222 - I'm two years in and our whole lives revolve around one person's mood, state of mind, not to mention food preferences! My husband has taken on the persona that he's terminal, so now life is all about him. He's going to have what he wants now and behave how he likes and if you don't like it, well hell he's got cancer so just suck it up. Everything is when where how what he wants and we have to fall into line as he's dying. I know he had pain and chemotherapy is cruel, but it's not as if we don't bend over backwards to minimise the discomfort. The mental stuff, fear of what is coming, I cannot pretend to understand.

Then there is the other side of the disease -  the good days when he really tries to create good memories for us as he wants to be remembered fondly but is held back because he cannot plan much more than a few weeks ahead. We don't know when the dreaded tumours will start growing again. It's a literal roller coaster and sometimes - just sometimes.....well you know    

Thank you Sallypond, I can tell l you can understand exactly how I feel sometimes. 

Elephant222

And then there are the times you just have to laugh, like last night's supper conversation:

Him: Are there onions in this?

Me: No. Why would I put onions in it? You haven't been able to tolerate anything fibrous or green since your surgery two years ago.

Him: [Eats another mouthful] Are you sure there aren't any onions in this?

Me: You take six capsules of creon with every meal so I know adding fibre will only make you ill all night. Why would I do that?

Him: I was just checking.

Me: I have to cook everything from scratch as you cannot handle additives, sugar,salt etc. I know what I put in it - no onions!! Don't you like it?

Him: It's great, very tasty. Just tastes like onions. You shouldn't grind your teeth you know, it's not good for you.

Better to grind your teeth than take a bite out of someone!

xxx Niobe

( though maybe better for the bite than the biter?)