Hi everyone,
I am caring for my Mother in law who was diagnosed with tongue cancer (stage 4) in August.(she lives with us but has her own part of the house) She finished 5 weeks of radiotherapy and 1 session of chemo (as she couldn't tolerate 2) She is now 4 weeks past treatment and things are getting better symptom wise. She can drink small amounts and is able to talk, however her mental heath is really struggling and I dont know what to do. She does have problems with mucus but this isn't as bad as it was, though she still thinks it is. She is clearly down and refusing to help herself really. My husband and I are still doing all her meds and feeding through her tube because she wont take the responsibility, and if we leave her alone for a day becomes really anxious and shaky. She gets out of bed but sits in her chair all day listening to the radio, we have tried to invite her in to watch films with us, set her a place for Christmas, I even cooked soup for her, but she wouldnt join in, we tried to invite her to play games but she just wont or cant, and I don't know which it is!. I feel really bad for her. She is reluctant to have friends over as she says it is too much talking to them, though I suspect it really is more down to attitude. I just don't know whether I am expecting too much, whether I should be pushing her to get out more or whether I should just leave her to her own devises, she has always been really independent but also quite demanding. I have had 6 weeks off work to care for her at home and look after her during the accute stage of treatment, but am due back to work on the 3rd and am and so worried that she wont cope. I also have 2 children who need me but have been really restricted with going out with them and now feel guilty about that, they are fab though and totally understand. (they are 8 nd 12) I have tried suggesting getting her nails done, going to the cinema, wandering around garden centres, even joining the local macmillan group, she just doesnt want to do any of it. Should I just leave her to it, or should I force the issue more? My husband is getting increasingly less tolerant and it is clearly affecting all of us. I just dont know what to do for the best, Any advice would be much appreciated. Thankyou
