Reaching the end of my rapidly fraying rope!!!

He's now upending bags of Crisps on the floor and denying he's doing whilst still doing it, I will lose it soon 

He's now upending bags of CrisCr on the floor and denying he's doing whilst still doing it, I will lose it soon 

Hi again I'm sorry that you are still in this position and would like to say to you please never apologise for coming on here to let off steam and to have a vent no one will criticise or judge you but I hope that for a few minutes it made you feel better to get it all off your chest this evening.

Can I ask if you think that your step dad is a danger to himself or you? If you think that there is a chance he is, and if he is likely to wander out of the house during the night, can I suggest that you phone the emergency team at the councils social care office and repeat to them what you have said to us in this post and ask for help.

Even if they don't do something tonight you are keeping on the radar.

If the above is not successful I would suggest that do the following tomorrow first thing.

Contact the Adult Social Team again and put them in the picture.

Contact the GP again and tell him exactly what happened to night maybe tactfully suggest that he makes a phone call to or emails the hospice to get the ball rolling quicker. The GP has a duty of care as the hospital have discharged your step dad into his care in the community.

Contact your step dads hospital and put them in the picture they might be able to do the referral.

The idea here is to keep stirring the pot until someone acts to help you.

Contact your GP in your right and explain as a carer what you are putting up with and it is damaging your health. Lets face it if you become so ill that you can't look after your step dad what would happen then.

As a last resort this evening again phone NHS111 as the situation seems to have changed since yesterday and ask if the duty doctor could call he might give your step dad a sedative so you can also get some sleep, although it might be pointless depending on how many calls the doctor has to make it could because few hours, but I would make the call anyway as you need help.

Can I also ask if your step sister could give you some respite some of the time to help you get some rest.

I am very sorry that I can only keep giving you suggestions to try but would like you to know that I'm here every day until about midnight if you want to chat or let off steam.

I hope for your sake that someone listens to you and takes action very soon to get your step dad sorted out as you know that you cannot go on like this and need help sooner rather than later.

Please keep in touch and let us know what is happening and tell us you are okay.

My name is Ian and I really do listen to everything you say and will always try and support you and give you advice.

Ian

Thanks again Ian for letting me have a moan, I have the out of hours social care number programmed into the phone now, if I need it I will ring, if I have a reasonable night I shall speak to them again tomorrow , he is a danger to himself and possibly me, so they have put me on an urgent referral for carer breakdown, it's just it takes a few days to sort things, I will call all the relevant people again and I am keeping a diary of when and what is happening in his episodes so I can let them know exactly when and what is going on. After I posted I did lose it a bit and my step sister came around to give me a couple of hours just to shut myself away and get out of the situation,  it's amazing what a long hot bath can do when you are not worried about what someone is doing . She is also going to start popping around while I'm at work, the trouble is she doesn't live in my area permanently she is just visiting at the moment.  She is also going to keep ringing McMillan for me, I am much calmer now so hopefully can face the night ahead, it's just a horrible mixture of feelings,  frustration,  fatigue,  guilt,  and sympathy as I know he doesn't mean it. I will let you know how I get on. Thanks again

G

Please keep on venting and using this tool as a way of releasing your feelings. I know it's a lonely place to be at times. 

How is your step dad coping whilst your in work. 

Hayley x

Hi hayley ,

He should not be left on his own really,  his brother has been popping in while I'm out to keep him company but in all honesty he needs to be in a secure place.  He has fallen 3 times this morning before I left for work. He's also started to get aggressive so I have rung the social care team this morning.  

Well after losing it with a few people,  I have got a night carer coming tonight so hopefully I will get at least one night's sleep.  I  cannot believe the amount of phone calls I have had to make to so many agencies just to get anything,  all of which I am being told the gp should have referred me to. Fingers crossed things will get easier 

That's good news that you have a carer coming in tonight but you shouldn't have had to chase  all those agencies up!

I think with this horrible disease everything needs chasing.  We have been trying to get my son some type of benefit help.  He graduated middle of July this year then 4 weeks later got diagnosed with acute lymphoblastic leukaemia. He has had intensive chemo and will need a bone marrow transplant. The amount of paperwork and proof he needs to claim any benefits is unbelievable.   He  hasn't asked for any of this.  He also worked as a postman before uni but can't claim much as hasn't paid enough insurance stamp.  Hurdles all the time. 

Hope you have a better night tonight 

Hayley 

I'm so pleased that you've got help at last albeit you could have done with all this hassle, pity the GP hadn't been on the ball in the first place.

I do hope that you make your own appointment with your GP so he knows exactly what you are going through.

Think another hot bath called for tonight before snuggling under the covers for well deserved sleep.

Ian

Oh hayley that's terrible , it's not as if life isn't hard enough as it Is without the obstacles that you have to jump just to get help,  I hope for all of you that you get the help you need, and I will be happy to chat if you need to. 

Thanks again for your advice with my situation

Take care 

G