Feeling alone and guilty

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I am caring for a friend whos living with Young onset Alzheimer's and Terminal Cancer, Im also the wife to my hubby whos battling mental health issues (that we are trying to get support for). Alongside , Im working full time and trying to be me. 

Why do I feel so guilty, especially when I book something that's just for me. 

It feels like Im at the bottom of the pile, with everyone and everything on top of me. 

Im only 40, well 41 soon. I just feel lost